"Have I become just another winter tree? ... Is that how you see me?" Brian's voice is a soothing, deep, full, and airy baritone. Singing barely above a whisper and a gentleness that belies the giant, powerful frame of the former NFLer. He is enamored with, and somewhat resembles, Sasquatch (as am I).
I have the distinct honor and privilege of previewing "Jealous Hands," which is to be released April 19th. I will add the iTunes link when I can. (Update: Jealous Hands on iTunes)
"Open Grave" begins with a guitar hook; aptly named, because it literally pulls you into the rhythm. Scott's discerning ear and distaste for cookie cutter guitar benefits us all.
"Counting all your blessings like the scars on a drunkard's hands," "Mt. Moriah" is both soothing and haunting. In fact, I often listen to Tallahassee to relax when I'm stressed at work or having trouble falling asleep, but unlike reading technical articles, if I'm energetic their music also peps me up. On this song the four part harmony stands out and you realize that each man brings a full bag of talent to this shindig.
Based out of Boston, Tallahassee is a hard working band about to release their third album (if you count the EP) to iTunes. I've described their sound as somewhere between Counting Crows and the Traveling Wilbury's. But the fact is I cannot classify this music. They do their own thing. They're doing it with beards.
"Wooden Heart" highlight's Scott's penchant for varied and interesting instruments as well as Matt's impeccable timekeeping behind the drum kit. A true percussionist, Matt feels no compulsion for a fill or solo every other bar. He drives the band, usually slow and steady, and fills in with musical percussion, such as a light cadence with brushes on snare. I wonder if that's him playing the orchestra bells?
I haven't heard the word "baby," yet. Thank you. Brian's lyrics are thought provoking, and done in such a way that they illustrate the story rather than tell it. I can almost smell dried maple leaves and burned wood right now.
Shawn's bass is omnipresent and nigh undetectable. He and Scott meld into a single instrument. Melody's have motion and depth. More like a calm lake than a churning river.
Brian's rhythm guitar is like jello. It just slides in around the edges. There's a synergy in this band which is palpable during a live performance.
"Songs of The Lonely Highway" feels much like I do on a lonely highway... plodding and sleepy. And that's my point. You don't just listen to Tallahassee you hear, feel, see, and experience their emotion and imagination. It's the goal of every artist, isn't it?
I don't think I need to comment on very song, which is great, because I haven't I sort of got sucked into listening. Please, consider doing the same.
PS- "The Ghost of John Denver:" I know you're dying to know what that's about.
PPS- You should know Scott's my brother, so I'm not entirely unbiased. However, this is one of my favorite groups. I won't apologize for that.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
Jealousy
"[Beware of] jealousy. The shadow of greed, that is... You must train yourself to let go of that which you fear to lose." - Master Yoda, Revenge of the Sith
A little while ago I caught myself being jealous. This is my confessional.
Jealous of:
"What can I do today to make it better?"
A little while ago I caught myself being jealous. This is my confessional.
Jealous of:
- The people who the people I miss make time to see
- People who travel
- People who have someone to travel with
- Happy couples
- Unhappy couples
- Couples with children
- Singles with children
- Anyone who resents their children, even intermittently
- People who know what they want to do with their life
- People who do what they want to do with their life
- People who travel to warm places
- People who live in warm places
"What can I do today to make it better?"
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Human Behavior: Stan and Carl
"That Ibanez woman gave her notice. I need you to disable her accounts next week." Stan reproaches himself for denying his instinct to let the call go to voice mail. "Thanks for the heads up, Carl. Is there any chance you could call me next week, instead? She still needs her accounts, right, until then?"
"I'm calling you now." There was a click, and dead air. Stan presumes the conversation is over and sets a reminder on his calendar to disable Issy's computer accounts. "I probably should have asked if he wants her email deleted or archived," Stan thinks out loud.
Stan's workstation is cluttered with notes scribbled on random pieces of paper, unframed pictures of his family tacked to the cube wall, and several action figures. He seems fond of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. He's wearing khakis and a moss colored sweater. His hair is tussled where the band of his headphones was sitting. On his desk are two computer monitors. One displays his email inbox full of messages he's already read. The other a dozen overlapping windows of gobbledy-gook which presumably pertains to his work managing the computer systems. But he's primarily focused on his smart phone; on which he tweets, "Coworker is rude when asked to do his own work. Poor guy must have no friends."
After staring into space for a moment, Stan's mumble is barely audible and incomprehensible. What he said was, "I'd better go ask him." He stands and walks from his cubicle, takes the long way past the receptionist and smiles at him, crosses through an empty conference room, walks past the break room, hangs a right into what looks like a supply area, and enters the "back office," where Carl glares at his computer monitor and clicks angrily.
Carl's office has three desks, one chair, and no windows. It's flanked front to back by five-drawer file cabinets. The cabinets and two desks are covered with binders and file boxes full of what Stan assumes to be unnecessarily printed accounting papers. On Carl's desk are several pencils side by side with fresh points, a cup full of one each of: red, blue, and black ink ball point pens; yellow, pink, blue, and green highlighters; black, red, blue, and green dry erase pens; and a black sharp point marker. The papers in Carl's inbox appear to be alphabetized based on the presence of lettered sticky-tabs on their right-hand margin.
Carl is wearing a pressed white shirt with blue stripes. His collar and his cuffs are buttoned and he's wearing a tie and a tie clip. His navy pinstriped jacket is on a hanger hung from a hook on the back of the door. The toes of his polished black shoes are poking out from under the desk.
There are no decorations that Stan can see, nor any item which does not pertain to the business of accounting, except for a single 4x6" photo of him and his family in a plain wooden frame. It seems to Stan it's there because it's "supposed to be."
Carl still hasn't acknowledged Stan, so Stan summons the courage to interrupt, "Hey, Carl, what's wrong?"
"What? Nothing, why?"
"You seem, I don't know, kinda angry."
"Why?"
"Never mind. Hey, I have a question about Ms. Ibanez' email account."
"I asked you to disable that next week." Carl turns his ill-temper on Stan. Stan does not react, keeping his wounded feelings in check.
"Actually, you asked me to disable her network account, which I've scheduled."
"Why didn't you just call?" Carl interrupts.
"Are you sure nothing is wrong?" Stan seems more concerned than chaffed by Carl's apparent disregard for his feelings.
"What's wrong is this computer isn't doing what it's supposed to do and I keep getting interrupted by everyone in the office." Carl straightens in his chair, reveling in his self-perceived boldness, and glares at Stan apparently awaiting acknowledgement.
"I'm sorry. Who else has disturbed you?" Stan asks out of curiosity.
"No one," Carl says with a smirk.
Stan moves on, "Right, so Issy..."
"Who's that?"
"Isabella? Ms. Ibanez?"
"Oh. Why did you call her that?"
"She likes it."
Carl scoffs.
"Anyway, we don't disable email. I need to know if you want it deleted or archived," Stan is trying to hurry this along so he can go outside and release his new-found tension.
"I don't," Carl sighed, or deflated, Stan isn't sure.
"Sorry?"
"I don't want either. I don't care at all. Just do what you usually do." Carl's "patience" has apparently run out.
"I usually do what the requester, um, requests. Hey, who does Issy report to?"
"Townsend."
"Great, thanks! I'll just go ask him what he wants to do and update the information you gave me."
"Super," Carl says sarcastically.
"So, what are you working on, anyway? If your computer isn't working maybe I can help?" Stan offers.
"You can't help. My whole life is like this. I'll just have to suffer like always."
"Great. You enjoy that. I'll talk to you later." Stan lets out a deep breath as he passes the break room.
"I'm calling you now." There was a click, and dead air. Stan presumes the conversation is over and sets a reminder on his calendar to disable Issy's computer accounts. "I probably should have asked if he wants her email deleted or archived," Stan thinks out loud.
Stan's workstation is cluttered with notes scribbled on random pieces of paper, unframed pictures of his family tacked to the cube wall, and several action figures. He seems fond of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. He's wearing khakis and a moss colored sweater. His hair is tussled where the band of his headphones was sitting. On his desk are two computer monitors. One displays his email inbox full of messages he's already read. The other a dozen overlapping windows of gobbledy-gook which presumably pertains to his work managing the computer systems. But he's primarily focused on his smart phone; on which he tweets, "Coworker is rude when asked to do his own work. Poor guy must have no friends."
After staring into space for a moment, Stan's mumble is barely audible and incomprehensible. What he said was, "I'd better go ask him." He stands and walks from his cubicle, takes the long way past the receptionist and smiles at him, crosses through an empty conference room, walks past the break room, hangs a right into what looks like a supply area, and enters the "back office," where Carl glares at his computer monitor and clicks angrily.
Carl's office has three desks, one chair, and no windows. It's flanked front to back by five-drawer file cabinets. The cabinets and two desks are covered with binders and file boxes full of what Stan assumes to be unnecessarily printed accounting papers. On Carl's desk are several pencils side by side with fresh points, a cup full of one each of: red, blue, and black ink ball point pens; yellow, pink, blue, and green highlighters; black, red, blue, and green dry erase pens; and a black sharp point marker. The papers in Carl's inbox appear to be alphabetized based on the presence of lettered sticky-tabs on their right-hand margin.
Carl is wearing a pressed white shirt with blue stripes. His collar and his cuffs are buttoned and he's wearing a tie and a tie clip. His navy pinstriped jacket is on a hanger hung from a hook on the back of the door. The toes of his polished black shoes are poking out from under the desk.
There are no decorations that Stan can see, nor any item which does not pertain to the business of accounting, except for a single 4x6" photo of him and his family in a plain wooden frame. It seems to Stan it's there because it's "supposed to be."
Carl still hasn't acknowledged Stan, so Stan summons the courage to interrupt, "Hey, Carl, what's wrong?"
"What? Nothing, why?"
"You seem, I don't know, kinda angry."
"Why?"
"Never mind. Hey, I have a question about Ms. Ibanez' email account."
"I asked you to disable that next week." Carl turns his ill-temper on Stan. Stan does not react, keeping his wounded feelings in check.
"Actually, you asked me to disable her network account, which I've scheduled."
"Why didn't you just call?" Carl interrupts.
"Are you sure nothing is wrong?" Stan seems more concerned than chaffed by Carl's apparent disregard for his feelings.
"What's wrong is this computer isn't doing what it's supposed to do and I keep getting interrupted by everyone in the office." Carl straightens in his chair, reveling in his self-perceived boldness, and glares at Stan apparently awaiting acknowledgement.
"I'm sorry. Who else has disturbed you?" Stan asks out of curiosity.
"No one," Carl says with a smirk.
Stan moves on, "Right, so Issy..."
"Who's that?"
"Isabella? Ms. Ibanez?"
"Oh. Why did you call her that?"
"She likes it."
Carl scoffs.
"Anyway, we don't disable email. I need to know if you want it deleted or archived," Stan is trying to hurry this along so he can go outside and release his new-found tension.
"I don't," Carl sighed, or deflated, Stan isn't sure.
"Sorry?"
"I don't want either. I don't care at all. Just do what you usually do." Carl's "patience" has apparently run out.
"I usually do what the requester, um, requests. Hey, who does Issy report to?"
"Townsend."
"Great, thanks! I'll just go ask him what he wants to do and update the information you gave me."
"Super," Carl says sarcastically.
"So, what are you working on, anyway? If your computer isn't working maybe I can help?" Stan offers.
"You can't help. My whole life is like this. I'll just have to suffer like always."
"Great. You enjoy that. I'll talk to you later." Stan lets out a deep breath as he passes the break room.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
iPhone Free Weather Apps
The Incumbent: Weather
A pretty and simple Weather app came installed on my iPhone when I bought it, which I used happily to check the temperature and see if I need rain gear before leaving my apartment for the day. That is, I did so until winter. In winter I need to know more than whether or not I expect snow. I need to know how much.
I decided to download the most popular, free weather apps. The contenders: AccuWeather, The Weather Channel, WeatherBug, WeatherEye, Weather+ Free, and Weather HD. All of them display the current temperature and conditions when you first open the app. All of them have a 6-14 day forecast with temperature and expected conditions. So, the bottom line question is...
How much snow will we get?
Weather: Does not predict the amount of precipitation.
AccuWeather: Predicts inches of precipitation on the front page which does not match that in the forecast. The number on the front page seems to be for the inches of precipitation this hour, but I'm honestly unsure.
WeatherBug: Reports inches of rain so far today on the front page, and predicts inches of rain, snow, or ice in the written forecast.
WeatherEye: Predicts inches of rain and inches of snow on the short term forecast. It remembers which tab was open when you closed the app, so your favorite becomes the front page.
Weather+: Shows inches of precipitation on the front page. Personally, I don't know how inches of precipitation relates to inches of snow. Is it relative to what type of precipitation is falling?
Weather HD: Does not predict the amount of precipitation.
The Weather Channel: Predicts inches of snow in the 36 hour forecast.
There's a winter weather advisory for freezing rain over night into tomorrow morning. What information does each app give me?
Weather: Does not mention the advisory or predict accumulation.
AccuWeather: Shows a red exclamation point on the front page which loads the advisory in a web page. The forecast tab predicts 0.4in of precipitation.
WeatherBug: Shows an active alert on the front page which displays the advisory in-app. The forecast predicts up to an inch of snow tonight, with up to one-tenth of an inch of ice by morning.
WeatherEye: Shows a red alert ticker which loads the weather conditions (same as the app front page) in a web page and has another link to the weather advisory. Forecast predicts 0.04in of rain tonight with 0.2in rain and 0.4-1.2in snow by morning.
Weather+: Does not mention the advisory. Forecast predicts 0.12in of precipitation for tomorrow.
This bugged me, because the hourly forecast shows it raining pretty much all day. Sure enough, when I click the hours showing precipitation, one says 0.0in of precipitation (heavy freezing drizzle), another 0.28in of precipitation (moderate rain), next 0.12in of precipitation (moderate rain), and last 0.0in of precipitation (light rain shower).
Weather HD: Does not mention the advisory or predict accumulation.
The Weather Channel: The Severe tab lists active advisories which open in-app. Forecast predicts wintery mix tonight, freezing rain in the morning, and rain all day tomorrow, but does not predict accumulations.
Conclusion
I downloaded these apps at the beginning of winter and have been using The Weather Channel for the past few months, but after my in depth comparison, I think I'll switch to AccuWeather. WeatherBug probably presents the best information in the most simple way, but I have a personal vendetta against WeatherBug for "infecting" PCs with AdWare for my entire professional career. I would have picked WeatherEye if the severe weather advisory had loaded in-app with a single click, because I like the presentation and love that it remembers what tab I'm on when I quit. It's like it knows me.
A pretty and simple Weather app came installed on my iPhone when I bought it, which I used happily to check the temperature and see if I need rain gear before leaving my apartment for the day. That is, I did so until winter. In winter I need to know more than whether or not I expect snow. I need to know how much.
I decided to download the most popular, free weather apps. The contenders: AccuWeather, The Weather Channel, WeatherBug, WeatherEye, Weather+ Free, and Weather HD. All of them display the current temperature and conditions when you first open the app. All of them have a 6-14 day forecast with temperature and expected conditions. So, the bottom line question is...
How much snow will we get?
Weather: Does not predict the amount of precipitation.
AccuWeather: Predicts inches of precipitation on the front page which does not match that in the forecast. The number on the front page seems to be for the inches of precipitation this hour, but I'm honestly unsure.
WeatherBug: Reports inches of rain so far today on the front page, and predicts inches of rain, snow, or ice in the written forecast.
WeatherEye: Predicts inches of rain and inches of snow on the short term forecast. It remembers which tab was open when you closed the app, so your favorite becomes the front page.
Weather+: Shows inches of precipitation on the front page. Personally, I don't know how inches of precipitation relates to inches of snow. Is it relative to what type of precipitation is falling?
Weather HD: Does not predict the amount of precipitation.
The Weather Channel: Predicts inches of snow in the 36 hour forecast.
There's a winter weather advisory for freezing rain over night into tomorrow morning. What information does each app give me?
Weather: Does not mention the advisory or predict accumulation.
AccuWeather: Shows a red exclamation point on the front page which loads the advisory in a web page. The forecast tab predicts 0.4in of precipitation.
WeatherBug: Shows an active alert on the front page which displays the advisory in-app. The forecast predicts up to an inch of snow tonight, with up to one-tenth of an inch of ice by morning.
WeatherEye: Shows a red alert ticker which loads the weather conditions (same as the app front page) in a web page and has another link to the weather advisory. Forecast predicts 0.04in of rain tonight with 0.2in rain and 0.4-1.2in snow by morning.
Weather+: Does not mention the advisory. Forecast predicts 0.12in of precipitation for tomorrow.
This bugged me, because the hourly forecast shows it raining pretty much all day. Sure enough, when I click the hours showing precipitation, one says 0.0in of precipitation (heavy freezing drizzle), another 0.28in of precipitation (moderate rain), next 0.12in of precipitation (moderate rain), and last 0.0in of precipitation (light rain shower).
Weather HD: Does not mention the advisory or predict accumulation.
The Weather Channel: The Severe tab lists active advisories which open in-app. Forecast predicts wintery mix tonight, freezing rain in the morning, and rain all day tomorrow, but does not predict accumulations.
Conclusion
I downloaded these apps at the beginning of winter and have been using The Weather Channel for the past few months, but after my in depth comparison, I think I'll switch to AccuWeather. WeatherBug probably presents the best information in the most simple way, but I have a personal vendetta against WeatherBug for "infecting" PCs with AdWare for my entire professional career. I would have picked WeatherEye if the severe weather advisory had loaded in-app with a single click, because I like the presentation and love that it remembers what tab I'm on when I quit. It's like it knows me.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Musical Review: La Dauphine, "Shh..."
Hey party people. We're taking a break from the human behavior project because, well, I'm stuck. The next two characters are introverts and it's hard to write about what they're thinking as they stare at each other, silently.
Anyway, I popped on to Twitter briefly for one of my hit and run tweeting sessions, and caught a post from @cburnham mentioning the release to iTunes of Shh... (The Acoustic Tracks) by La Dauphine, which I promptly bought and downloaded. I've been waiting some time.
I became aware of La Dauphine on Twitter, from where I know her also as Faith, which is easier to type, so I'm switching to that for the rest of the article.
iTunes calls it an album, but it's only four tracks. I'm not sure if that's technically a single or an EP. Regardless, it's beautiful. Let me elaborate.
First up, "Marie, Je T'aime." My initial reaction was, "This is catchy." I should mention that each track is composed of a piano and Faith's voice. The piano is full, I guess, is how I want to describe it. There's a lot of motion in the bass notes, she's (I presume it's her playing, I should ask) playing full chords as well as touching on the melody. It's not unique, I guess, but it is moving. As I type I'm listening and I am thinking, "Is it like Jerry Lee Lewis? No, more melodic, less cookie cutter. Tori Amos? Similar, less brooding, fewer treble runs. Evanescence? Amy Lee's piano is also very full and energetic, but it's still not exactly the same," and so on. Can you tell I'm a sucker for piano rock and strong female vocals?
Speaking of, next up is, "Superhuman." Where as "Je T'aime" starts with La Dauphine singing immediately, "Superhuman," starts with a slow, quiet piano solo, which builds dramatically over the first thirty seconds, the note is held, and the voice enters... the first time I heard it the air literally left my lungs. Even now I've heard it maybe a dozen times and I still have goose bumps. If I learn tomorrow that Faith has studied opera I will nod and mutter, "That 'splains it." "Superhuman," is far and away my favorite track, and builds in me excitement to hear some of the 40 as-yet-unreleased tracks she's teased me with on Twitter.
Moving on to, "Enough." It feels like Faith is KISSing (Keeping It Simple S...) here. On "Enough," the lyrics rule. I want you to listen to it, so I'm not going to discuss it too much. She describes thoughts we all have and an evolution of the narrator's character that we will all identify with and does it without digressing into cookie cutter phrases and stale cliches (thanks for that).
Finally, "Letters to the King." I may be reading into the lyrics, but I believe this song ties up a cohesive story which runs through all four songs. When you hear it, you will relate to the swelling and crashing emotion that resolves with quiet determination: at once sad, but hopeful.
Most importantly, Faith is obviously capable of many mind blowing piano and especially vocal stunts, but unlike too many artists, she is not compelled to add them to every song and reserves them for profound emphasis. Well done!
Look, it's $4. Skip the latte frappaccino and download the thing. Tell your friends. It will brighten your day. It did mine.
Anyway, I popped on to Twitter briefly for one of my hit and run tweeting sessions, and caught a post from @cburnham mentioning the release to iTunes of Shh... (The Acoustic Tracks) by La Dauphine, which I promptly bought and downloaded. I've been waiting some time.
 |
| Shh... (Image used without permission. Link to source.) |
iTunes calls it an album, but it's only four tracks. I'm not sure if that's technically a single or an EP. Regardless, it's beautiful. Let me elaborate.
First up, "Marie, Je T'aime." My initial reaction was, "This is catchy." I should mention that each track is composed of a piano and Faith's voice. The piano is full, I guess, is how I want to describe it. There's a lot of motion in the bass notes, she's (I presume it's her playing, I should ask) playing full chords as well as touching on the melody. It's not unique, I guess, but it is moving. As I type I'm listening and I am thinking, "Is it like Jerry Lee Lewis? No, more melodic, less cookie cutter. Tori Amos? Similar, less brooding, fewer treble runs. Evanescence? Amy Lee's piano is also very full and energetic, but it's still not exactly the same," and so on. Can you tell I'm a sucker for piano rock and strong female vocals?
Speaking of, next up is, "Superhuman." Where as "Je T'aime" starts with La Dauphine singing immediately, "Superhuman," starts with a slow, quiet piano solo, which builds dramatically over the first thirty seconds, the note is held, and the voice enters... the first time I heard it the air literally left my lungs. Even now I've heard it maybe a dozen times and I still have goose bumps. If I learn tomorrow that Faith has studied opera I will nod and mutter, "That 'splains it." "Superhuman," is far and away my favorite track, and builds in me excitement to hear some of the 40 as-yet-unreleased tracks she's teased me with on Twitter.
Moving on to, "Enough." It feels like Faith is KISSing (Keeping It Simple S...) here. On "Enough," the lyrics rule. I want you to listen to it, so I'm not going to discuss it too much. She describes thoughts we all have and an evolution of the narrator's character that we will all identify with and does it without digressing into cookie cutter phrases and stale cliches (thanks for that).
Finally, "Letters to the King." I may be reading into the lyrics, but I believe this song ties up a cohesive story which runs through all four songs. When you hear it, you will relate to the swelling and crashing emotion that resolves with quiet determination: at once sad, but hopeful.
Most importantly, Faith is obviously capable of many mind blowing piano and especially vocal stunts, but unlike too many artists, she is not compelled to add them to every song and reserves them for profound emphasis. Well done!
Look, it's $4. Skip the latte frappaccino and download the thing. Tell your friends. It will brighten your day. It did mine.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Human Behavior: Danielle Interviews Isabelle
Danielle Davis sits bolt upright—her cellphone laid clock facing up on a table for two in a cafe downtown—and glares at the entrance. The clock reads 10:02 AM. Her tailored, navy-blue, wool business suit shouts, “I mean business!” A simple but distinctive necklace made of large silver links interrupted periodically by topaz tiles that match her eyes almost exactly hangs down to her waist. With her white silk blouse buttoned nearly to her neck, only the drape of the necklace reveals the contour of her gym sculpted body. Her straight, brown, shoulder length hair is pinned behind her ear, from which a long, twisted, silver triangle dangles. She commands attention.
Isabelle Ibanez enters clumsily. Her phone is pinned between her cheek and shoulder. Her huge, red, unfastened, patent-leather bag flees her shoulder, presumably chasing its contents; some of which have already escaped. She’s waving to someone through the shop window as a man who was passing by stoops to collect her wayward belongings. Dani wonders for a moment how Issy’s big, curly blond hair fit through the door before she remembers how angry she is. Issy smooths her white cotton skirt printed with large flowers in primary colors before taking her seat at Dani’s table; her numerous pieces of jewelry clinking merrily as she does so. Her yellow blazer barely constrains the ruffled blouse beneath. She may not be as svelte as the day she bought this outfit. She attracts attention.
“Hi! Danielle? It’s so good to finally meet you!”
“You’re late,” Danielle almost shouts through her clenched teeth. She tilts her phone-clock toward Issy without breaking eye contact.
“Oh, it took forever to find a parking spot, and then I got a phone call...” Issy begins; she was obviously about to launch into a lengthy and dramatic recounting of her commute.
“Let’s get started,” Dani interrupts. “You’ve applied for a sales position. I’ve already called your references. They agree that your best asset is your relationship with your clients.”
Issy ejaculates, “Oh, yes! I have hundreds of clients! I love them! Each one is my very best friend!”
Dani grimaces as she decides not to mention that one can have only one best friend. She proceeds, “Can you tell me the average gross sales of all 87 of your accounts?”
“Oh, no. I don’t worry about that stuff. Somebody else does it.”
“Who?”
“I don’t know. I think it's one of those quiet people that work in the back of the office. Do you know they have no windows?! They always look sad.”
Dani’s seething is evident to everyone within earshot, except Issy, whose hazel eyes are darting around the cafe at the other patrons. “Am I keeping you?” Danielle asks, annoyed.
“No! Why?!”
“Never mind. Are you saying that you don’t track your daily and weekly achievements against your monthly goal?” Dani is visibly disgusted.
Issy seems confused, “I make as many friends as I can every day, and when they like me they introduce me to their friends. When I tell them I’m an account rep they always want to buy from me, because they like me!” She straightens in her chair, obviously proud of being so well liked that her bills are paid, as if by magic.
“I see. I have to be honest. We expect our sales reps to be organized and meet or exceed their quotas. We really don’t pay people to ‘make friends.’ We aren’t looking for friends, we are looking for sales.”
“If you don’t have friends, who do you sell to?”
“Our clients.”
“But, they aren’t clients until after they like you, are they?” Suddenly, Issy seems less like a clown, and more like an eccentric genius, but Dani is not about to share that with her. “Where did you get it, by the way?”
“Get what?” Now Dani is confused and wondering how she lost control of the conversation so quickly.
“That lovely necklace! I absolutely love it! I have to say, you looked a little uptight sitting here, but now that I’m close enough to see your necklace, I feel like I found your inner party girl! I can’t wait until we work together so we can go to happy hour and break the boys’ hearts!”
Dani finds herself unable to suppress her smile entirely, letting slip a Mona Lisa like grin. “Oh, I picked it up at a house party one of the girls in the office threw last year. You really like it?”
Isabelle Ibanez enters clumsily. Her phone is pinned between her cheek and shoulder. Her huge, red, unfastened, patent-leather bag flees her shoulder, presumably chasing its contents; some of which have already escaped. She’s waving to someone through the shop window as a man who was passing by stoops to collect her wayward belongings. Dani wonders for a moment how Issy’s big, curly blond hair fit through the door before she remembers how angry she is. Issy smooths her white cotton skirt printed with large flowers in primary colors before taking her seat at Dani’s table; her numerous pieces of jewelry clinking merrily as she does so. Her yellow blazer barely constrains the ruffled blouse beneath. She may not be as svelte as the day she bought this outfit. She attracts attention.
“Hi! Danielle? It’s so good to finally meet you!”
“Oh, it took forever to find a parking spot, and then I got a phone call...” Issy begins; she was obviously about to launch into a lengthy and dramatic recounting of her commute.
“Let’s get started,” Dani interrupts. “You’ve applied for a sales position. I’ve already called your references. They agree that your best asset is your relationship with your clients.”
Issy ejaculates, “Oh, yes! I have hundreds of clients! I love them! Each one is my very best friend!”
Dani grimaces as she decides not to mention that one can have only one best friend. She proceeds, “Can you tell me the average gross sales of all 87 of your accounts?”
“Oh, no. I don’t worry about that stuff. Somebody else does it.”
“Who?”
“I don’t know. I think it's one of those quiet people that work in the back of the office. Do you know they have no windows?! They always look sad.”
Dani’s seething is evident to everyone within earshot, except Issy, whose hazel eyes are darting around the cafe at the other patrons. “Am I keeping you?” Danielle asks, annoyed.
“No! Why?!”
“Never mind. Are you saying that you don’t track your daily and weekly achievements against your monthly goal?” Dani is visibly disgusted.
Issy seems confused, “I make as many friends as I can every day, and when they like me they introduce me to their friends. When I tell them I’m an account rep they always want to buy from me, because they like me!” She straightens in her chair, obviously proud of being so well liked that her bills are paid, as if by magic.
“I see. I have to be honest. We expect our sales reps to be organized and meet or exceed their quotas. We really don’t pay people to ‘make friends.’ We aren’t looking for friends, we are looking for sales.”
“If you don’t have friends, who do you sell to?”
“Our clients.”
“But, they aren’t clients until after they like you, are they?” Suddenly, Issy seems less like a clown, and more like an eccentric genius, but Dani is not about to share that with her. “Where did you get it, by the way?”
“Get what?” Now Dani is confused and wondering how she lost control of the conversation so quickly.
“That lovely necklace! I absolutely love it! I have to say, you looked a little uptight sitting here, but now that I’m close enough to see your necklace, I feel like I found your inner party girl! I can’t wait until we work together so we can go to happy hour and break the boys’ hearts!”
Dani finds herself unable to suppress her smile entirely, letting slip a Mona Lisa like grin. “Oh, I picked it up at a house party one of the girls in the office threw last year. You really like it?”
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Human Behavior: Game Plan
Since posting about human behavior recently I have struggled with how to present the material. I have decided to invent a cast of fictitious characters and write soap opera style stories about how they interact with each other.
If all goes well, you and I will learn:
If all goes well, you and I will learn:
- To understand our own behavior model: how we differ from others and what our strengths are
- To read others' behavior model
- To adjust our expectations of others based on their behavior model
- To adjust our behavior toward others to improve our relationships
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