Human Behavior: People Are People

Personality traits are preferences, much the same as being right or left handed.

Names that authors give to the four personality archetypes vary and are often archaic. These articles will use plain language words: Direct, Interactive, Steady, and Calculating. Likewise, the phrase "personality types" suggests you are stuck with your preference. Here we'll discuss "behaviors," because these can be adjusted.

A right handed person has a perfectly good left hand, which is every bit as capable as the right. He simply prefers the right, and his natural tendency is to use the right. However, he can train his left. For instance, during summer vacations I used to like to play basketball. I am right handed. I was weak on the foul line. To improve, I practiced shooting foul shots with my left hand. Doing so also improved my performance with my right hand.

Similarly, the more you learn about personality types, the better you understand yourself. You learn how to play to your strengths and compensate for your weaknesses; becoming a well rounded person.

Also, the strength of the preference varies among individuals. Some people are mostly right handed, but will bat left handed. Some people are ambidextrous. It's helpful to think of a person's preference on a scale from one to ten.

In fact there are two scales from one to ten which intersect at five. The vertical scale measures a person's pace with one being "completely" slow paced (reserved, soft spoken, introverted) and ten being completely fast paced (outgoing, loud, "takes action"). The horizontal scale measures priority with one being completely task oriented and ten being completely people oriented. Regard the illustration.

DISC Model of Human Behavior

In fact most people exhibit some behaviors from every archetype. Their first preference is usually the most obvious and is what you notice when you first meet them. As you get to know them, you'll observe their second and perhaps third preferences. It's most common to discuss the first two.

Now is a good time to note that preferences may change under stress or in certain circumstances. A normally laid-back, steady person may become loud and aggressive at the poker table. An interactive social butterfly may become shy and soft spoken when intimidated by someone he perceives as having authority over him.

The Direct wants to achieve, the Interactive to experience, the Steady to observe, and the Calculating to analyze. In upcoming articles we'll examine each archetype in depth so we can understand why people do the things they do. Then we'll discuss how to adjust our reactions so we can relate better to others, avoid getting irritated by their differences, make friends easily, and improve our relationships. People like people who are like themselves.

Slow Talker: Stupid, Introverted, or Both?

Hey, quick one tonight. I was talking with my friend the other day about a friend of hers, whose behavior had confused her. I asked if he talked slow or fast. Her reply was, "He's not stupid."

Wow. That's an eye opener. I'm a slow talker. I wonder what she thinks of me?

People are either fast or slow paced. Fast paced people act, then think. Slow paced people think, then act. Fast paced people are sometimes referred to as extroverted, and slow ones introverted. Intellectuals tend to be slow paced⎯you know, because of the thinking⎯as opposed to fast paced men of action.

People are also either task or people oriented. Task oriented people are concerned with results. People oriented people are concerned with feelings.

So, people are either fast or slow paced and either task or people oriented. 2 x 2 = 4 different behavior models. Simple. What that means and what you do with it will take several articles to explain.

So my task oriented friend was confused by what sounded to me like a people oriented decision. Maybe I should have started with that question? But then, I wouldn't have written this blog, would I? Things happen for a reason.

Mac Attack (@mellank, @sethdesantis)

This post comes to you by special request. Some background: during the day I am a Windows computer network administrator. I know all there is to know about Windows, save perhaps how to compile it from source. If I just lost you, I'm qualified to teach you.

Last year, while I was rushing to finish my taxes, my Windows laptop broke. It is a computer I had only recently refurbished. My back up computer was a Windows netbook, which was cute and good for some light web surfing but not up to the tasks of daily computer use. My synopsis of the Windows computer experience:

• You have to "fix" it every time you use it
• The fix may be as simple as software update or as complicated as a virus removal
• In your office, there's a guy like me shielding you from that pain
• It doesn't "just work"
• You have to install drivers for your printer
• You have to install Flash or Java to open your favorite web page
• You have to install Office
• You have to install an email program
• You have to install a program to store and organize your camera's photos
• You have to install a program to edit photos
• ...
• Because of the above, you can't just pull out your laptop and do a thing while you're thinking about it, which is a productivity killer

I decided to replace my broken Windows box with a MacBook. I bought the cheapest MacBook with an optical drive, because I believe that is the best computer value on the market. It may have been surpassed by the new 11" MacBook Air released this year, depending on whether you need to read CD/DVDs.

My synopsis of the MacBook user experience is, "It just works."

Out of the box I could browse the web, connect to Gmail, synchronize my Gmail contacts, listen to music, synchronize and organize my music player, synchronize and organize my photos with enough editing to handle most simple changes, take pictures with the built in camera, watch videos and DVDs, record and edit video, record and edit music, read PDF files, edit web pages, back up the computer, and synchronize computer files and settings with an online account.

I needed to add some applications, but I didn't need them to do what I opened the laptop for at that moment, which was connect to TaxAct and complete my return.

She gets me

When it came time to install an office suite, Firefox, and a Twitter client I thought for a minute about how to find these and decided to check Apple's website first to see if they had a list of recommended downloads. They did! I found NeoOffice, Echofon, and Firefox. I clicked links on the Apple site to download them. For those who are unfamiliar, here's a brief description of the Mac install and remove process:

• Download a dmg (disk image) file
• Open the disk image
• Drag the application icon from the disk to the Applications folder
• Open the application
• Pin the app icon to the dock

To remove:

• Unpin the app icon from the dock
• Delete the application file from the Application folder

You see, Macintosh applications have always been contained in a single file. They are much, much, much easier to maintain than Windows applications, which infest your computer more than reside there. Sorry, it's true.

Although that process is easy enough for most people, it is not obvious. How can we go one better? The App store.

Now, there's an app on your dock which connects to an online catalog. It lets you search, browse, purchase, and install all in one spot. When you install, you give your iTunes password. The App store downloads and places your new application in your Applications folder, and its icon on your dock. Bang. I replaced Echofon with Twitter, which is as awesome as the iPhone version. Yeah, Twitter!

When updates are available, you are told and given the choice to begin or wait until later. If you choose wait until later, that's the end of it. This is unlike Windows, which will nag you every few minutes with a pop up that invariably pops up while you're typing, causing you to reboot unexpectedly, losing work. Mac does not do that.


Also relating to user experience:

• The screen is beautiful, but at 1280 x 800 pixels, it is not a lot of screen real estate. If I was working on this for eight hours a day I would use at least one external display.
• The keyboard is... I can't say for sure but I find it difficult to touch type on it. If I was working on this all day long I would use my Microsoft Comfort Curve 2000 keyboard.
• The battery lasts forever. I can be out and about for one or two days, depending on what I'm doing and how much of it I'm doing. On one outing I spent six hours in my local Panera Bread.
• I am deeply in love with Apple's capacitive multitouch pads. If I was working all day long I would use the Magic Pad to preserve the experience of the built in pad while using the external keyboard.

I'd love to hear feedback about challenges you face or anticipate switching to Mac from Windows. I am quite sure that discussion would generate several blog posts worth of great material.

"Happy" Birthday

February 15, 2005, 7:00 pm

I sit alone in the frigid vestibule of a Red Lobster. I didn't want Red Lobster. I didn't want to eat out. I was bullied into it. It's my 34th birthday.

As I wait for my wife to arrive and maliciously track her progress against the hostess finding us a table, I stare absentmindedly at a young couple on the bench opposite me. They are all over each other; enjoying their moment/any moment/each moment. I am angry. I am lonely. I am sad.

At least one third of my life has passed. My predominant thought as I sit for eternity is, "I haven't done anything I want."

January 19, 2011, 3:00 am

I sit alone in a cluttered apartment. I've just woken from a bad sleep. I feel almost exactly the same as that night which comes rushing back so vividly to my mind. Except this time there's no convenient villain to blame for my feelings or my lack of progress.

Progress toward what? I haven't achieved what I want, because I haven't defined it. My life long dream was to have a family, but I was unsuccessful in finding the right woman to have it with. I was late in finding the wrong one.

As I sit on the verge of my 40th birthday I mourn my unborn children who ought to be at college leaving me to decide what to do next. I still haven't found their mother. When your dream dies, how do you find another?

What's Your Super Power?

My standard answer is that I have two powers: invisibility and mind control. I'm wondering now if my invisibility isn't rather a feat of mind control. That is, am I projecting my own wish not to be seen into the minds of others? This seems likely, as I can always be seen by children and animals. I want them to.