Hey, quick one tonight. I was talking with my friend the other day about a friend of hers, whose behavior had confused her. I asked if he talked slow or fast. Her reply was, "He's not stupid."
Wow. That's an eye opener. I'm a slow talker. I wonder what she thinks of me?
People are either fast or slow paced. Fast paced people act, then think. Slow paced people think, then act. Fast paced people are sometimes referred to as extroverted, and slow ones introverted. Intellectuals tend to be slow paced⎯you know, because of the thinking⎯as opposed to fast paced men of action.
People are also either task or people oriented. Task oriented people are concerned with results. People oriented people are concerned with feelings.
So, people are either fast or slow paced and either task or people oriented. 2 x 2 = 4 different behavior models. Simple. What that means and what you do with it will take several articles to explain.
So my task oriented friend was confused by what sounded to me like a people oriented decision. Maybe I should have started with that question? But then, I wouldn't have written this blog, would I? Things happen for a reason.
Actually, I think your task-oriented friend was confused by the question :) When 99.9% of communication with someone is done via email you can't really tell if someone is a slow talker or a fast talker. (I could tell you how fast I read the email... but that doesn't mean they wrote it that fast!)
ReplyDeleteAlso, your explanation of task or people oriented personalities seems to assume you can't be both "a results person" and someone who cares about other people's feelings. I don't think it's an either/or situation.
Hmm. And now that I think about that, I don't think you can only be intellectual if you are slow paced. You can still take action after thinking about it (rather than act/then think) and be fast paced, according to the rest of your definition.
Too many generalizations in this one! :)
PS: You're super smart.
I've only known a couple of people who took notable pauses before responding in conversation. One is a fomer coworker, who was not always honest. So, I came to associate the pauses with dishonesty.
ReplyDeleteYou're the other. With you, I learned that the pause can also mean the person is just really concerned with what he says. Concern could be for the results; or it could be for the other person.
I agree with debbiedragon - I think your math might be off. It's not really a 2x2 situation. It's probably more like 2x2x2x2.
People are complicated.
Thanks for the feedback. The above was intentionally over simplified and generalized to keep it short. If I could explain how to earn people's trust and get them to like you, would that be worth something to you?
ReplyDeleteI have a smart-ass answer for that question which I will keep to myself.
ReplyDeleteBut, if you could help me figure out a way to get laid off with a severance package, that would be worth something to me.