Isabelle Ibanez enters clumsily. Her phone is pinned between her cheek and shoulder. Her huge, red, unfastened, patent-leather bag flees her shoulder, presumably chasing its contents; some of which have already escaped. She’s waving to someone through the shop window as a man who was passing by stoops to collect her wayward belongings. Dani wonders for a moment how Issy’s big, curly blond hair fit through the door before she remembers how angry she is. Issy smooths her white cotton skirt printed with large flowers in primary colors before taking her seat at Dani’s table; her numerous pieces of jewelry clinking merrily as she does so. Her yellow blazer barely constrains the ruffled blouse beneath. She may not be as svelte as the day she bought this outfit. She attracts attention.
“Hi! Danielle? It’s so good to finally meet you!”
“Oh, it took forever to find a parking spot, and then I got a phone call...” Issy begins; she was obviously about to launch into a lengthy and dramatic recounting of her commute.
“Let’s get started,” Dani interrupts. “You’ve applied for a sales position. I’ve already called your references. They agree that your best asset is your relationship with your clients.”
Issy ejaculates, “Oh, yes! I have hundreds of clients! I love them! Each one is my very best friend!”
Dani grimaces as she decides not to mention that one can have only one best friend. She proceeds, “Can you tell me the average gross sales of all 87 of your accounts?”
“Oh, no. I don’t worry about that stuff. Somebody else does it.”
“Who?”
“I don’t know. I think it's one of those quiet people that work in the back of the office. Do you know they have no windows?! They always look sad.”
Dani’s seething is evident to everyone within earshot, except Issy, whose hazel eyes are darting around the cafe at the other patrons. “Am I keeping you?” Danielle asks, annoyed.
“No! Why?!”
“Never mind. Are you saying that you don’t track your daily and weekly achievements against your monthly goal?” Dani is visibly disgusted.
Issy seems confused, “I make as many friends as I can every day, and when they like me they introduce me to their friends. When I tell them I’m an account rep they always want to buy from me, because they like me!” She straightens in her chair, obviously proud of being so well liked that her bills are paid, as if by magic.
“I see. I have to be honest. We expect our sales reps to be organized and meet or exceed their quotas. We really don’t pay people to ‘make friends.’ We aren’t looking for friends, we are looking for sales.”
“If you don’t have friends, who do you sell to?”
“Our clients.”
“But, they aren’t clients until after they like you, are they?” Suddenly, Issy seems less like a clown, and more like an eccentric genius, but Dani is not about to share that with her. “Where did you get it, by the way?”
“Get what?” Now Dani is confused and wondering how she lost control of the conversation so quickly.
“That lovely necklace! I absolutely love it! I have to say, you looked a little uptight sitting here, but now that I’m close enough to see your necklace, I feel like I found your inner party girl! I can’t wait until we work together so we can go to happy hour and break the boys’ hearts!”
Dani finds herself unable to suppress her smile entirely, letting slip a Mona Lisa like grin. “Oh, I picked it up at a house party one of the girls in the office threw last year. You really like it?”
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