Special Gift

An excerpt from an article about gifts for men on their 40th birthday:

"Of the milestone birthdays that men reach, 40 may be the most pivotal. It means closing the book on some of the more youthful dreams and pursuits, while celebrating the positive results of several decades of hard work and long-lasting relationships."

Oh, man, is that presumptive. I have precisely one long term relationship outside of my family members. Five by extension when you count his family members. I don't remember the last time I spoke to any of them. There goes that. My decades of hard work are unfocused, to say the least, and while there are positive outcomes—I'm remarkably good at starting from zero and getting on my feet in three months—of the past decade's work, I still don't feel it's worth celebrating: letters of recognition I'd store away in a shoe box in the back of the hall closet, perhaps.

I happened to catch another blog about the biological clock. The poster and majority of commenters are thirty-ish. One commenter summed up my situation, nicely:

Amanda, you have plenty of time, you’re only 30. I can appreciate all the comments here but what about the fact that for some women, the opportunity to have a child, with a partner, never arises. This is exactly what happened to me.

I didn’t get married until 34, divorced at 39 and now that I’m 43 I don’t have a partner to have a child with. I never planned this, but that’s how the cards were dealt. Now I would kill to have a child and it’s going to be up to me to decide (within 2 years) whether I will adopt, or attempt to biologically conceive on my own. It breaks my heart now, but I don’t believe in choosing a partner with the intent to use him as a sperm donor only. And, I know I’m in the minority here but I see nothing wrong with a woman having a child in her 40s. I am healthier, have more energy and more wisdom now to raise a child than I did when I was 30. My lifestyle choices at the age were unacceptable to parent a child, in my opinion.

Comment by  lola — February 8th, 2011 @ 12:03 pm

What would I choose for my special 40th birthday gift? What would sum up nicely my accomplishments and be worth celebrating? Probably a framed montage of my kids accomplishments. I'll probably ask for a dress shirt and work on my new dream.

However, if you are Amy Adams, know Amy, or resemble her in any way give me a call. Better late than never, I always say. Well, I'm saying it now.