How A Bumble Bee Broke My Leg

A group of convention goers exit their tour bus in the hotel parking
lot. Greg shouts after Dharma, "Hey, watch out there's a..."

Dharma, startled, turns to face him, but does not stop walking; now
walking backwards toward the curb. "Sorry, wha-?"

"There's a bumble bee."

"What?! Oh! Where?"

While the two of them flail at the innocent insect, Dharma stumbles
over the curb.

True story.

Except the broken leg part. No one was hurt. That was me joking with
Dharma about the title of her next book.

Man on Fire

One of the side effects of my quarterly sales conference is rushing.
Our schedule is so tight we run between destinations, or as close to
running as security personnel allow. We even "sleep fast," as we call
it.

The bus returned at 2:30a Monday morning. I slept until 10:30a. I
caught up on personal messages, RSS feeds, and tweets. Showered and
dressed. First meal and errands until 2:30p. Work on guitar, shopping,
second meal until 8:30p. Laundry and more guitar until 12a, then
sleep; all rushed. Happy Monday!

At work Tuesday. Three days worth of email stressed me out, so I
rushed through it and cleared it by noon. I also completed my weekly
report and time sheet in that time. I could have nursed either of
those tasks most of the day, but I was still rushing. Upon returning
from my lunch, I had plenty of work, but no desire to do it, and my
alibi was gone.

At least I had started to relax ☺

Pizza Lobster

Fred used to work at Pizza Hut. He now works at Red Lobster. Wilma
tells a Betty a story about how Pebbles now refers to his workplace as
Lobster Hut. Giggling ensues.

Barney interrupts to say, "Or you could call it Pizza Lobster."

At first, we assumed he was making fun. After some back and forth, and
undue amounts of laughter, we determined he wasn't. Asks Barney, "Why
would it be Lobster Hut?"

"Because Lobster Hut has meaning," says I, "and Pizza Lobster does not."

"Sure it does!"

We laugh, then stare blankly. "Please, describe this enigmatic Pizza
Lobster to us, ingredient by ingredient," I command Barney.

After several minutes of painful and rewarding laughter, Betty
observes that Barney seeks a combination that uses first word, "pizza"
or "red," and second word, "hut" or "lobster." Says I, "He applies a
mathematical solution to a word problem."

Barney seeks to fit life into tiny boxes which are drawn for it.
They're so cute when they're young.

Bus trips are fun.

Breaking Point

I'm in a hotel room. I just sat in the desk chair, which tipped
backward unexpectedly. Do you know that feeling? I've been feeling it
a lot, lately.

There are blogs I never published, because they aren't public. This
explains, partly, the gap in my posting. I have things on my mind I
cannot share. Or I can share different things with different people.

When is the last time you felt that way? Have you written long
letters, then burned them, or given them irrelevant file names?

Our feelings are like water. They can drip annoyingly, trickle
pleasingly, refresh, drown, or burst a dam. We can't live without them
(sorry, Spock).

Periodically the water flows to a place it doesn't fit: a flood. Options:
• Staunch the emotion: maybe impossible, but if you could, maybe a
disservice to who or what you're emotional about
• Build a bigger dam: forestalls the inevitable
• Redirect the water: build some reservoirs and irrigation trenches
and use your gift to grow something beautiful
• Do nothing: dam fails, homes and fields flood

With mixed feelings I admit I've had a lot of practice. I'm getting
very good at "life."

Please excuse me. I have ditches to dig.

Are You Sure You Want To Know?

I'm an honest person. The term "brutally honest?" They're talking about me.

This gives rise to my slogan, "Before you ask a question, be sure you
want the answer.

Overall, I'm happy with the result.

Your Will Be Done: @AvaApollo and @el_bobbo

Ava Apollo (@AvaApollo) 9/2/10 12:34 PM hahaha how I sexted a doucher. Amazingness.

Bob Thompson (@el_Bobbo) 9/2/10 12:36 PM ☺ glad you like. How's Thursday treating you?

Ava Apollo (@AvaApollo) 9/2/10 1:05 PM think I have the flu :-/ so I'm tweeting nyquil references and undoubtedly offending former addicts and encouraging current ones

Bob Thompson (@el_Bobbo) 9/2/10 1:07 PM It's a test. The weak will eliminate themselves with Nyquil fueled accidents. You provide a public service. Feel better!

Ava Apollo (@AvaApollo) 9/2/10 1:16 PM omg that's a super interpretation of an otherwise tragic situation. If only these were tweets cause this is a hilarious convo

Sent with Twitter for iPhone

iPhone + BackBeat 903 Weirdness

I think this is the fault of iOS4, honestly. I'm sporting the very stylish and functional Plantronics BackBeat 903 bluetooth headset which pumps bass boosted tunage into my ear canals for almost an entire workday. I usually charge them at lunch time, or give them a rest if the office quiets for a little bit.

Plantronics BackBeat 903, image used without permission. Click here for manufacturer's website.

Notice the combination of ear-canal conforming soft rubber buds and battery-weighted, behind-the-ear hardware that keeps these bad boys fitted to my awkwardly sized/shaped ears.

I'm writing because I have intermittent problems with the headset controlling my iPhone. It has been puzzling and aggravating. When it works, I press the pause button when I need to talk to someone (annoyingly often, but that's another post), which stops the music—and this is neat—activates the microphone, which allows you to hear as if or better than your ears were naked.

That is, it's neat when it works. When it doesn't the music resumes after about three seconds, usually right in the middle of my conversation partner's sentence. As if talking wasn't annoying enough in and of itself.

On the call control side, it just works sometimes and not others. That's something that needs to be reliable if this is to be used for calls. Incidentally, the fit is secure enough to let one bud dangle if you need to use it in the car or any other time you don't want your ears obstructed. What would el Bobbo do?

When this happens, I turn off the headset, open Settings > Bluetooth and turn off bluetooth. Bluetooth fails to turn off at the first attempt and comes right back on after the little "I'm thinking" wheel spins for several minutes. I turn bluetooth off again, which works right away. After waiting a few seconds I turn bluetooth back on, wait for it to start detecting devices, and turn the headphones back on. The headset controls work again after this.

So, don't throw your headset away if this is happening to you. Praise be to Jobs that he deems justly to update the bluetooth software on iOS4 with a fix worthy of his eminence.