New Year's Eve, Bobbo Style

First, Happy New Year!

I live alone. I dislike crowds. There are no prospective dates for this evening. I have a new blu-ray player and a copy of Avatar. Pizza and a movie at home seemed like the way to go. How long should it take one man to coordinate pizza and a movie in his own living room with nobody but him? I'll get back to you on that.

I was out when I decided. At first, I thought the easiest thing was to stop at the pizzeria on my way home. But, it's cold and they have no inside seating where I could wait comfortably for my order.

At this point the average person might have driven home, looked up their number, and ordered delivery over the phone. I did not, for two reasons. I hate the phone. It's far outside my comfort zone to call my parents, let alone some guy at the pizza shop. Really, it's a thing. Also, I have nasal polyps, which happen to be very swollen today. It is difficult to understand me face to face, on the phone it's worse.

At the last moment I remembered something. A couple months ago, I ordered from my preferred pizzeria a few miles away using mealeo.com. I ordered for pick up, but when I arrived I was informed that the delivery driver was on his way to my apartment, that they get many mealeo.com orders from my apartment complex and they are typically for delivery.

So I arrived home today, launched mealeo.com, clicked in my order, and it kept asking me for my location. I was like, "Dude, you know my location." And it was like, "Nah." Eventually it told me that pizzeria does not deliver to my address. I was like, "What?!" And it was like, "Talk to the mouse." Fine. So I ordered from the one where I was planning to drive and I wait.

And I wait.

I read.

I wait.

I play a video game.

I wait.

I get really hungry.

After an hour and a half I checked the confirmation, and following its instructions, called the restaurant. The man said he never received my order, and that it's better if I call him directly to place an order.

"Thanks for the advice, sir, but how about my food?"

"You can order now."

"No, thanks. I'd rather not pay twice."

"Maybe you should call Mealeo?"

Fine. I called Mealeo. My first attempt was shunted to voice mail. So, I called back. A very helpful man answered, was disinterested in my attempt at humor, got upset when I explained what happened, asked if I still wanted the food, assured me that he'd call and straighten out the problem, and offered to attempt to get me a discount. I thanked him and returned to waiting.

The pizza arrived about twenty minutes later. Total time: two hours.

Sweet victory

For fun I returned to my mealeo account to check the order status. The order has been removed. I'm optimistic that means it was refunded.

The pizza, after all that, is much better than the past few times I had it from this place. I am very happy, because it is much more conveniently located.

I'll probably go back to ordering in person and waiting for the pizza.

Conversationalism

Maybe this happens to you? An acquaintance sidles up to you and hovers until acknowledged. Once acknowledged, he and you exchange pleasantries, ask about each others' weekend and/or recent holiday. Your story is brief, "I went here and did that with this person. We had fun."

His, however, is verbose. "I went there with whom and we met So and Sew, who each brought X, Y, and Z. It's funny, because So and Z of Sew don't get along. Y of So came back from college with a new cat-so cute!-but So's allergic..." By now you are praying for merciful death. Yours or his, it doesn't matter.

My feeling is that everyone has been on one side of this exchange or both. If you think not, then likely you are the verbose story teller.

As your friend, I'm here to lay down the tough love. You, my dear friend, are boring. Extremely boring. Here is the breakdown, starting with the most interesting:
• Ask me to tell a story about me
• Tell a story about me
• Tell a story about you

However, telling me a story about someone I've never met is boring with a capital kill me. I have no interest in this being, literally. How can you tell I'm disinterested? Observe the following tells:
• I start looking around at anything but you
• I cross my arms, legs, or worse both
• I turn away from you
• I attempt to engage someone else in conversation
• I flat out say I have other things to do
• I attempt to walk away
• I say, "God, you're boring. Please leave."

I hope this is helpful. You are kind and friendly and it's great to have someone to talk to.

What Would YOU Do?

I am turning the tables this time. Before I get to it, I need to lay down some background info. Check it.

I am an introvert. That literally means my reality is internal. As such I think far more than I interact with others. Even though I love people, I don't wish to speak to them.

I have been extremely shy all my life. It is common for all people, but especially who are confident or extroverted, to confuse introversion with shyness. Shyness and confidence are learned behaviors, whereas introversion and extroversion are personality traits. I am both introverted and shy: a double whammy.

Several years ago, I started a direct sales business. For those unfamiliar, in direct sales a manufacturer licenses independent consultants to sell exclusive products which are not usually sold in retail outlets. The consultant buys the product or service at wholesale, sells it at retail, and keeps the difference—just like any other sales business. Sometimes there is also a commission. However the consultant works from his home, not a store front, and as such needs to approach prospective customers instead of waiting for those prospective customers to walk into his store. When done business to business this is often called outside sales.

More accurately I procured the license. I haven't really started the business, yet. This brings us to the point of this post.

One of my dreams in life is to drop my shyness, build confidence, and be more outgoing. Simply monetizing this behavior was not enough to motivate me. So, I'm reaching out to anyone who was shy, learned confidence, and can now approach and make friends with strangers. You can teach what you've done. I'd love your suggestions in the comment section.

Thanks in advance!

Count Your Blessings

It's a good idea from time to time—especially at times when we're sad, discouraged, or depressed—to take a moment, a pencil, and a sheet of paper, and write down every item for which you are grateful. You may draw a blank, at first. Here are a few to get the ball rolling:

• ten fingers
• working legs and feet
• good health
• breathing
• father
• mother
• siblings
• spouse
• children
• electricity
• pay check
• friends
• things you're good at
• things you enjoy, even if you're not good at them
• a warm, perpetually burning sun just eight light-minutes away
• childhood friends you still have
• childhood friends you've lost track of
• an ex- that taught you something, or caused you to learn it on your own
• the roof over your head
• the food in your fridge
• the heat at your baseboard
• clean water to drink

I could probably fill up the whole internet before I was done writing everything down, and I haven't even listed any specific to me, yet. Here are some:

• My friend Chris, who was my best friend from Kindergarten to second grade and invited me for sleep overs. I forgive you for running me over with your bike when our families went camping. I tripped in front of you, and I realize now you couldn't stop. It didn't hurt, I was just scared.
• My friend, Thom, who since seventh grade has always treated me as if I belong, no matter how long it is between visits.
• My ex-, because of whom I learned that before you can care for others you have to care for yourself, first, and take care not to lose or sacrifice what you are to please someone else.
• Mom, who accepted me as her own son when she married Dad and raised me to love God and other people. 
• Dad who protected my brother Tom and me from... stuff, and made a safe, healthy, and happy home for our family.
• My therapist who after my divorce taught me I'm OK just the way I am. Great, in fact. And that I cannot expect others to empathize, be courteous, and care for me the way that I do them, because they can't. That's a special gift of mine. I have to communicate with people.
• The judge who scored me low at NYSSMA choral competition and taught me I'm not all that.
• After years of trial and error, I am quite adept at providing a living for myself.
• I am blessed with musical talent and full use of my hands, ears, eyes, and voice in order to both perform and enjoy music.
• I have seen a sunrise.
• I have seen a sunset.
• I have seen a lunar eclipse
• I have seen a solar eclipse
• I have seen a comet
• I grew up with brothers and sisters who are also my friends, and on whom I know I can rely if ever I am in need.
• I live in a country where I have the freedom to succeed or fail, as I choose.

That's hardly any of what I'm thankful for, but if I fill up the internet you'll never get to read my post.

Happy Holidays,
Bob

Irony

Sugar cookies. They have been calling to me for days. My favorite are those from Hannaford's bakery. But they aren't there! There isn't even an empty spot on the shelf where they should be The horror!

Then so something happened which has not happened, perhaps ever. My search expanded to the bakery aisle. The where?! Yes, you read that correctly. There was no sugar cookie mix. Now, that's just mean. And ironic. Perhaps doubly so.

I found some Pepperidge Farm.

I Need ALL Those Shoes (@sue215)

Christmas shopping: I was sloshing around in the freezing rain. A very light, breathable pair of running shoes was all that separated my increasingly soggy socks from an inch of cold, standing water. My thoughts turned to footwear.

A vision formed in my mind of soft, brown leather with seems sealed against the elements: Timberland, perhaps? But wait, that description is very familiar.

Echoes in my memory spoke of just such a shoe, which felt so good when I slipped it on that I returned an hour over highway to purchase them.

I recalled also that I put them away because the cuffs hit my ankle in a weird way that escaped my notice until I had worn them for a few hours. An annoyance that pales in comparison to soggy socks.

Thank you, rain, for adding value to that purchase. Thank you summertime self for having presence of mind and foresight. Thank you job for funding my adventures. Thank you SR, for enduring my antics. Thank you friends, for reading.

Dogbert Cleans Our Office

Comic for December 11, 2010
DILBERT DAILY STRIP | DECEMBER 11, 2010
http://pulsene.ws/uxdl




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Morning in December

The room is dimly lit by the little bit of sun slipping past the mostly-shut, vertical blinds. A tiny sliver of blue sky peeks around the broken slat which has fallen down and rests gently on its neighbor. Comfortable temperatures on my sofa, fresh energy from a good night's sleep, and the bird chirping on the window sill stir in me feelings of a chilly spring morning; the herald of a warm, sunny day.

Alas, I am deceived. Today's high: 23˚. It is currently 14˚.

The 10 Most Popular DYAC’s From November 2010

I just had to share these. Sorry, Mom, the language is bad, but this really happens every time I type on my phone. Thanks to twitter.com/sue215 and twitter.com/dri1humanity0 for sharing the site with me, originally. 

The 10 Most Popular DYAC's From November 2010
DAMN YOU AUTO CORRECT! | DECEMBER 2, 2010
http://pulsene.ws/qvyR


These were the 10 most viewed, most shared, and most popular images sent in to DYAC in November, 2010. Congratulations to the ...

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