iPhone + BackBeat 903 Weirdness

I think this is the fault of iOS4, honestly. I'm sporting the very stylish and functional Plantronics BackBeat 903 bluetooth headset which pumps bass boosted tunage into my ear canals for almost an entire workday. I usually charge them at lunch time, or give them a rest if the office quiets for a little bit.

Plantronics BackBeat 903, image used without permission. Click here for manufacturer's website.

Notice the combination of ear-canal conforming soft rubber buds and battery-weighted, behind-the-ear hardware that keeps these bad boys fitted to my awkwardly sized/shaped ears.

I'm writing because I have intermittent problems with the headset controlling my iPhone. It has been puzzling and aggravating. When it works, I press the pause button when I need to talk to someone (annoyingly often, but that's another post), which stops the music—and this is neat—activates the microphone, which allows you to hear as if or better than your ears were naked.

That is, it's neat when it works. When it doesn't the music resumes after about three seconds, usually right in the middle of my conversation partner's sentence. As if talking wasn't annoying enough in and of itself.

On the call control side, it just works sometimes and not others. That's something that needs to be reliable if this is to be used for calls. Incidentally, the fit is secure enough to let one bud dangle if you need to use it in the car or any other time you don't want your ears obstructed. What would el Bobbo do?

When this happens, I turn off the headset, open Settings > Bluetooth and turn off bluetooth. Bluetooth fails to turn off at the first attempt and comes right back on after the little "I'm thinking" wheel spins for several minutes. I turn bluetooth off again, which works right away. After waiting a few seconds I turn bluetooth back on, wait for it to start detecting devices, and turn the headphones back on. The headset controls work again after this.

So, don't throw your headset away if this is happening to you. Praise be to Jobs that he deems justly to update the bluetooth software on iOS4 with a fix worthy of his eminence.

Happiness

I can say this because I used to be one. Some people expect happiness
to happen to them. While I understand the feeling, I found out that's
nit how life works.

Let's say you think life owes you corn. Life will give you corn, but
first you have to put corn in the ground. Then, life gives you more
corn than you can use.

Happiness is like that.

So, I have this friend...

My coworker, let's call him Mike. No, not that Mike. I work with about ten Mikes. Everybody knows a Mike.

Right.

So Mike's situation would make an excellent teen novel and subsequent feature film. You see, he's a vampire who is in love with a high school girl named Bella... Wait, that's not right.

Mike likes a girl. We'll call her Michelle. No, not that Michelle. Please, try to focus. The names are made up.

Mike has liked Michelle since she started working in our office several years ago. At first he was shy, because he had no work related reason to approach her. He also has a policy against dating coworkers, which is something I taught him. Do you date coworkers? Do you recommend it?

So little by little Mike and Michelle did get to talk and found they have some common interests, including some things they've done in life and some they'd like to do. One thing they did not have in common; Michelle was in a relationship and Mike was not. But since Mike was still following my "no dating coworkers" advice, that didn't seem like a big deal.

One day, Mike and I go to lunch. While I'm flirting with the waitress (Who's name, coincidentally, was Michelle. She wouldn't give me her number, BTW.) he asks me what to do. He's very attracted to Michelle: increasingly so. He has feelings for her and is jealous of her fiance. What Would el Bobbo Do? I advise him to go find someone else. Move on. She's not available, and he deserves better than to be strung along. What would you have told him?

The first few women Mike met were unfit matches. With some he got deeply involved; these relationships ended in ruin and heart break. Between you, me, and the internet, I think Mike over-committed to those poor women in an effort to level the playing field and make Michelle jealous. I honestly didn't want to get involved enough to find out. Why do you think he had these rollercoaster relationships?

So here we are, almost five years later. Little has changed. Mike is still Michelle's "work boyfriend" (God I hate that). They occasionally go to lunch or take a walk together. It's not just Mike. People in the office notice that her face changes when she sees him. She seems happier when they're together. I've noticed it myself. So, at least Mike's not crazy. Why do you think she's happier when they're together?

Mike finally broke my rule and told her how he feels and that he'd like a relationship with her. Mike's a little passive aggressive, so he probably wrapped his earnest feelings in a joke to leave them both an out if it didn't go the way he'd hoped. Every time he tells her he wants more, he tells me that she just giggles, blushes, and changes the subject. She's never turned him down, just ignored him. Why?

And so it goes. Mike keeps trying to move on (he's a trooper). He dated Ginger for months believing they had nothing in common. I still think he's exaggerating, but according to him, they would go to dinner, a movie, and back to his place—barely speaking—for months before he finally discovered some common interests. That tells me that he would have dumped Ginger if he wasn't primarily focused on Michelle. Do you agree?

What's Michelle's take? I have no idea. She's not my friend. Mike's probably her only friend in the office. From what Mike's told me, and what I've observed of her behavior both with and without Mike, she's not happy where she is, but for whatever reason she's staying, and probably unintentionally, she's using Mike to fill in the gaps in her committed relationship. How close do you think I am?

My advice to Mike is still to move on, but he's so hung up on Michelle that he's having a really hard time of it. I feel bad, brother, but I got nothing else for ya. How would you advise Mike if he was your friend?

On behalf of Mike and myself, thanks in advance for your thoughts and opinions. In the mean time, here's to hoping that Mike finds someone he likes better than Michelle, and soon. Salud!

Genesis

Would you like to know how all this What Would el Bobbo Do stuff started? Of course!

My close, personal friend and I were at a tweet up near my home in Albany, NY. The topic of discussion was work; customer service, overflowing inboxes, and nagging bosses. So my friend says (paraphrased), "I was so happy! One customer I helped sent me a hand-written, thank-you note! Then I got back to my phone and the voicemail light was blinking. Another customer keeps calling and interrupting the work I'm doing for them."

We've all been there. We're on top of and have prioritized our work. Unfortunately, our customers' and bosses each have different priorities: from us and each other.

So what should my friend do? She's very conscientious. She was on top of her work and knew the best way to help the nagging customer was to ignore them for now, then call them back with results. El Bobbo suggested folding the thank you card into a teepee and placing it over the voicemail light. And so it began.

What would YOU do?

What's That on My Shirt?

So I had a lot of obstacles on the way to work this morning. The first was my realization that all my clean clothes were wadded up on the floor in the living room. Ironing?! Ugh!

A bunch of red lights, drivers with opposing objectives, and trafficky street crossings later, I look down and see SPOTS ON MY SHIRT! Where did they come from? This is not cool.

What would el Bobbo do?

I reached into my bag and pulled out my LOC wipes. I took one out, wiped the spots off my shirt, and tossed it away.

If you want to be able to do that, you'll have to click the link.

What would YOU do?

Confidence

I was reading the other day about the difference between confidence and cockiness. I was planning a lengthy comment on the linked blog post, but after thinking about it a while I decided to post a new topic here, because this is a very interesting topic to me.

I can summarize my point very succinctly: when a nice person tries to act cocky it comes across as confidence. What behavior sets the confident person apart? Let's start a list:

• Smiling
• Observant
• Sensitive
• Polite
• Interested
• Sincere
• Complimentary

What would you add? Tell me below, and I'll update the list!

Works Consulted
How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing with People - Les Giblin
Skill with People - Les Giblin
How to Win Friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie
www.doubleyourdating.com

What Would el_Bobbo Do?

My new best friend (well, until she called me old) has a new slogan: What Would el_Bobbo Do? I'm a natural problem solver. She shows great wisdom for one so young.

Kidding aside, I've updated my blog with the phrase, because while this space is still for my random thoughts, my random thoughts tend to center around observing and interacting with people. I love people from afar, and learning to love them up close and personal is a huge life goal of mine.

So, it all seems to fit. What do you think?

Best Twitter Conversation

Darth Vader (@DepressedDarth) 8/16/10 4:19 PM @LordPalpatine That would make the 2nd one Kill Ball. Vol 2.

Emperor Palpatine (@LordPalpatine) 8/16/10 4:13 PM @DepressedDarth I thought it was Kill Ball.

Darth Vader (@DepressedDarth) 8/16/10 4:12 PM Little known fact: Lucas' working name for the Death Star was "Explosion Sphere." He was creative, but it didn't always come naturally.

Avoid Comparing Yourself To Others

I've been saying this a lot recently, to a lot of different people. Here's the thing, no one can be as good a you as you are. You may want to improve, to be the best you you can be. In fact, I encourage you to spend your life learning and improving*.

The pitfall is when you start comparing yourself to others. So-and-so is prettier. So-and-so probably isn't. You're each just pretty in a different way. There is no benefit to this comparison. It will, however, undercut your valuable self-esteem.

Protect and build your self-esteem at all cost.

Love,
Bob

Works Consulted
What To Say When You Talk To Yourself - Shad Helmstetter
How To Have Confidence And Power In Dealing With People - Les Giblin
The Magic Of Thinking Big - David Schwartz

* You will be in five years the product of what you read and with whom you associate. Read biographies of successful people, and books by authors such as Dale Carnegie, Napoleon Hill, Og Mandino, and John Maxwell. Consider joining a trade or professional organization, a public speaking group, etc. That should keep you busy for a while.

How to Get Minions

What follows is my recipe for mind control. Remember, with great power comes great responsibility.

When dealing with the opposite gender, you may use the shortcut method. This entails feigning helplessness and using suggestive body language to imply a reward. After your white knight (non-gender-specific) rids you of the unpleasant task or situation, switch to "just friends" mode. Say, "Oh! You're the best friend ever!", tee-pee hug, and exchange air-kisses. Muah!

Oh, I was asked what a tee-pee hug is. It resembles leaning across a fence. It's the hug you use for elderly relatives and creepy people at church.

Or opposite gender people you've decided you're just going to be friends with.

More generically, the technique starts with complimenting your minion for the desired trait you are about to exploit. "Oh, Harold! Your garden is so beautiful! How do you keep it so?"

He who asks questions controls the conversation. Words create reality.

Next you have to plant the seed of an idea into your minion, which will lead to him/her suggesting he/she fix your problem for you. Observe.

"Say, Harold, maybe you could help me? I can't for the life of me figure out how to get this crab grass out of my lawn. What would you suggest?"

Harold will usually spend the next four hours weeding your lawn and be really, really happy about it.

There's no such thing as a free lunch. Your minions will do what you want because you made them feel better than anyone ever has. You valued their skills and appreciated their help. You asked for their advice instead of bossing them around. You bought more with kindness than their employer ever could with wages.

Works Consulted
How I Raised Myself From Failure To Success In Selling - Frank Bettger
How To Have Confidence And Power In Dealing With People - Les Giblin
How To Win Friends And Influence People - Dale Carnegie
The Tongue: A Creative Force - Charles Capps