So, I have this friend...

My coworker, let's call him Mike. No, not that Mike. I work with about ten Mikes. Everybody knows a Mike.

Right.

So Mike's situation would make an excellent teen novel and subsequent feature film. You see, he's a vampire who is in love with a high school girl named Bella... Wait, that's not right.

Mike likes a girl. We'll call her Michelle. No, not that Michelle. Please, try to focus. The names are made up.

Mike has liked Michelle since she started working in our office several years ago. At first he was shy, because he had no work related reason to approach her. He also has a policy against dating coworkers, which is something I taught him. Do you date coworkers? Do you recommend it?

So little by little Mike and Michelle did get to talk and found they have some common interests, including some things they've done in life and some they'd like to do. One thing they did not have in common; Michelle was in a relationship and Mike was not. But since Mike was still following my "no dating coworkers" advice, that didn't seem like a big deal.

One day, Mike and I go to lunch. While I'm flirting with the waitress (Who's name, coincidentally, was Michelle. She wouldn't give me her number, BTW.) he asks me what to do. He's very attracted to Michelle: increasingly so. He has feelings for her and is jealous of her fiance. What Would el Bobbo Do? I advise him to go find someone else. Move on. She's not available, and he deserves better than to be strung along. What would you have told him?

The first few women Mike met were unfit matches. With some he got deeply involved; these relationships ended in ruin and heart break. Between you, me, and the internet, I think Mike over-committed to those poor women in an effort to level the playing field and make Michelle jealous. I honestly didn't want to get involved enough to find out. Why do you think he had these rollercoaster relationships?

So here we are, almost five years later. Little has changed. Mike is still Michelle's "work boyfriend" (God I hate that). They occasionally go to lunch or take a walk together. It's not just Mike. People in the office notice that her face changes when she sees him. She seems happier when they're together. I've noticed it myself. So, at least Mike's not crazy. Why do you think she's happier when they're together?

Mike finally broke my rule and told her how he feels and that he'd like a relationship with her. Mike's a little passive aggressive, so he probably wrapped his earnest feelings in a joke to leave them both an out if it didn't go the way he'd hoped. Every time he tells her he wants more, he tells me that she just giggles, blushes, and changes the subject. She's never turned him down, just ignored him. Why?

And so it goes. Mike keeps trying to move on (he's a trooper). He dated Ginger for months believing they had nothing in common. I still think he's exaggerating, but according to him, they would go to dinner, a movie, and back to his place—barely speaking—for months before he finally discovered some common interests. That tells me that he would have dumped Ginger if he wasn't primarily focused on Michelle. Do you agree?

What's Michelle's take? I have no idea. She's not my friend. Mike's probably her only friend in the office. From what Mike's told me, and what I've observed of her behavior both with and without Mike, she's not happy where she is, but for whatever reason she's staying, and probably unintentionally, she's using Mike to fill in the gaps in her committed relationship. How close do you think I am?

My advice to Mike is still to move on, but he's so hung up on Michelle that he's having a really hard time of it. I feel bad, brother, but I got nothing else for ya. How would you advise Mike if he was your friend?

On behalf of Mike and myself, thanks in advance for your thoughts and opinions. In the mean time, here's to hoping that Mike finds someone he likes better than Michelle, and soon. Salud!