What follows is my recipe for mind control. Remember, with great power comes great responsibility.
When dealing with the opposite gender, you may use the shortcut method. This entails feigning helplessness and using suggestive body language to imply a reward. After your white knight (non-gender-specific) rids you of the unpleasant task or situation, switch to "just friends" mode. Say, "Oh! You're the best friend ever!", tee-pee hug, and exchange air-kisses. Muah!
Oh, I was asked what a tee-pee hug is. It resembles leaning across a fence. It's the hug you use for elderly relatives and creepy people at church.
Or opposite gender people you've decided you're just going to be friends with.
More generically, the technique starts with complimenting your minion for the desired trait you are about to exploit. "Oh, Harold! Your garden is so beautiful! How do you keep it so?"
He who asks questions controls the conversation. Words create reality.
Next you have to plant the seed of an idea into your minion, which will lead to him/her suggesting he/she fix your problem for you. Observe.
"Say, Harold, maybe you could help me? I can't for the life of me figure out how to get this crab grass out of my lawn. What would you suggest?"
Harold will usually spend the next four hours weeding your lawn and be really, really happy about it.
There's no such thing as a free lunch. Your minions will do what you want because you made them feel better than anyone ever has. You valued their skills and appreciated their help. You asked for their advice instead of bossing them around. You bought more with kindness than their employer ever could with wages.
Works Consulted
How I Raised Myself From Failure To Success In Selling - Frank Bettger
How To Have Confidence And Power In Dealing With People - Les Giblin
How To Win Friends And Influence People - Dale Carnegie
The Tongue: A Creative Force - Charles Capps
If you're with a controlling person, the way to do this is to fail at something miserably the first time. They will inevitably take control of the task because you are incapable.
ReplyDeleteCome to think of it, that may not be in the same spirit as your way, but it's just as effective. :)
Excellent!
ReplyDeleteROFL That worked on my mom when I was young. My daughter can't get away with it now though. hehe
ReplyDeleteHow to Get Minions: 1) Threaten them with your giant killer robot!!!! 2) Sit back and enjoy world domination.
ReplyDeleteHi Amie!
ReplyDeleteMuahahah! Papa like!
But leadership by fear is temporary, which means they'll rebel against your first giant robot. Then you have to build another. Scare, subjugate, rebel. Build, scare, subjugate, rebel. Etc.
Which is also fun! Viva la Robot!