New Year's Eve, Bobbo Style

First, Happy New Year!

I live alone. I dislike crowds. There are no prospective dates for this evening. I have a new blu-ray player and a copy of Avatar. Pizza and a movie at home seemed like the way to go. How long should it take one man to coordinate pizza and a movie in his own living room with nobody but him? I'll get back to you on that.

I was out when I decided. At first, I thought the easiest thing was to stop at the pizzeria on my way home. But, it's cold and they have no inside seating where I could wait comfortably for my order.

At this point the average person might have driven home, looked up their number, and ordered delivery over the phone. I did not, for two reasons. I hate the phone. It's far outside my comfort zone to call my parents, let alone some guy at the pizza shop. Really, it's a thing. Also, I have nasal polyps, which happen to be very swollen today. It is difficult to understand me face to face, on the phone it's worse.

At the last moment I remembered something. A couple months ago, I ordered from my preferred pizzeria a few miles away using mealeo.com. I ordered for pick up, but when I arrived I was informed that the delivery driver was on his way to my apartment, that they get many mealeo.com orders from my apartment complex and they are typically for delivery.

So I arrived home today, launched mealeo.com, clicked in my order, and it kept asking me for my location. I was like, "Dude, you know my location." And it was like, "Nah." Eventually it told me that pizzeria does not deliver to my address. I was like, "What?!" And it was like, "Talk to the mouse." Fine. So I ordered from the one where I was planning to drive and I wait.

And I wait.

I read.

I wait.

I play a video game.

I wait.

I get really hungry.

After an hour and a half I checked the confirmation, and following its instructions, called the restaurant. The man said he never received my order, and that it's better if I call him directly to place an order.

"Thanks for the advice, sir, but how about my food?"

"You can order now."

"No, thanks. I'd rather not pay twice."

"Maybe you should call Mealeo?"

Fine. I called Mealeo. My first attempt was shunted to voice mail. So, I called back. A very helpful man answered, was disinterested in my attempt at humor, got upset when I explained what happened, asked if I still wanted the food, assured me that he'd call and straighten out the problem, and offered to attempt to get me a discount. I thanked him and returned to waiting.

The pizza arrived about twenty minutes later. Total time: two hours.

Sweet victory

For fun I returned to my mealeo account to check the order status. The order has been removed. I'm optimistic that means it was refunded.

The pizza, after all that, is much better than the past few times I had it from this place. I am very happy, because it is much more conveniently located.

I'll probably go back to ordering in person and waiting for the pizza.

Conversationalism

Maybe this happens to you? An acquaintance sidles up to you and hovers until acknowledged. Once acknowledged, he and you exchange pleasantries, ask about each others' weekend and/or recent holiday. Your story is brief, "I went here and did that with this person. We had fun."

His, however, is verbose. "I went there with whom and we met So and Sew, who each brought X, Y, and Z. It's funny, because So and Z of Sew don't get along. Y of So came back from college with a new cat-so cute!-but So's allergic..." By now you are praying for merciful death. Yours or his, it doesn't matter.

My feeling is that everyone has been on one side of this exchange or both. If you think not, then likely you are the verbose story teller.

As your friend, I'm here to lay down the tough love. You, my dear friend, are boring. Extremely boring. Here is the breakdown, starting with the most interesting:
• Ask me to tell a story about me
• Tell a story about me
• Tell a story about you

However, telling me a story about someone I've never met is boring with a capital kill me. I have no interest in this being, literally. How can you tell I'm disinterested? Observe the following tells:
• I start looking around at anything but you
• I cross my arms, legs, or worse both
• I turn away from you
• I attempt to engage someone else in conversation
• I flat out say I have other things to do
• I attempt to walk away
• I say, "God, you're boring. Please leave."

I hope this is helpful. You are kind and friendly and it's great to have someone to talk to.

What Would YOU Do?

I am turning the tables this time. Before I get to it, I need to lay down some background info. Check it.

I am an introvert. That literally means my reality is internal. As such I think far more than I interact with others. Even though I love people, I don't wish to speak to them.

I have been extremely shy all my life. It is common for all people, but especially who are confident or extroverted, to confuse introversion with shyness. Shyness and confidence are learned behaviors, whereas introversion and extroversion are personality traits. I am both introverted and shy: a double whammy.

Several years ago, I started a direct sales business. For those unfamiliar, in direct sales a manufacturer licenses independent consultants to sell exclusive products which are not usually sold in retail outlets. The consultant buys the product or service at wholesale, sells it at retail, and keeps the difference—just like any other sales business. Sometimes there is also a commission. However the consultant works from his home, not a store front, and as such needs to approach prospective customers instead of waiting for those prospective customers to walk into his store. When done business to business this is often called outside sales.

More accurately I procured the license. I haven't really started the business, yet. This brings us to the point of this post.

One of my dreams in life is to drop my shyness, build confidence, and be more outgoing. Simply monetizing this behavior was not enough to motivate me. So, I'm reaching out to anyone who was shy, learned confidence, and can now approach and make friends with strangers. You can teach what you've done. I'd love your suggestions in the comment section.

Thanks in advance!

Count Your Blessings

It's a good idea from time to time—especially at times when we're sad, discouraged, or depressed—to take a moment, a pencil, and a sheet of paper, and write down every item for which you are grateful. You may draw a blank, at first. Here are a few to get the ball rolling:

• ten fingers
• working legs and feet
• good health
• breathing
• father
• mother
• siblings
• spouse
• children
• electricity
• pay check
• friends
• things you're good at
• things you enjoy, even if you're not good at them
• a warm, perpetually burning sun just eight light-minutes away
• childhood friends you still have
• childhood friends you've lost track of
• an ex- that taught you something, or caused you to learn it on your own
• the roof over your head
• the food in your fridge
• the heat at your baseboard
• clean water to drink

I could probably fill up the whole internet before I was done writing everything down, and I haven't even listed any specific to me, yet. Here are some:

• My friend Chris, who was my best friend from Kindergarten to second grade and invited me for sleep overs. I forgive you for running me over with your bike when our families went camping. I tripped in front of you, and I realize now you couldn't stop. It didn't hurt, I was just scared.
• My friend, Thom, who since seventh grade has always treated me as if I belong, no matter how long it is between visits.
• My ex-, because of whom I learned that before you can care for others you have to care for yourself, first, and take care not to lose or sacrifice what you are to please someone else.
• Mom, who accepted me as her own son when she married Dad and raised me to love God and other people. 
• Dad who protected my brother Tom and me from... stuff, and made a safe, healthy, and happy home for our family.
• My therapist who after my divorce taught me I'm OK just the way I am. Great, in fact. And that I cannot expect others to empathize, be courteous, and care for me the way that I do them, because they can't. That's a special gift of mine. I have to communicate with people.
• The judge who scored me low at NYSSMA choral competition and taught me I'm not all that.
• After years of trial and error, I am quite adept at providing a living for myself.
• I am blessed with musical talent and full use of my hands, ears, eyes, and voice in order to both perform and enjoy music.
• I have seen a sunrise.
• I have seen a sunset.
• I have seen a lunar eclipse
• I have seen a solar eclipse
• I have seen a comet
• I grew up with brothers and sisters who are also my friends, and on whom I know I can rely if ever I am in need.
• I live in a country where I have the freedom to succeed or fail, as I choose.

That's hardly any of what I'm thankful for, but if I fill up the internet you'll never get to read my post.

Happy Holidays,
Bob

Irony

Sugar cookies. They have been calling to me for days. My favorite are those from Hannaford's bakery. But they aren't there! There isn't even an empty spot on the shelf where they should be The horror!

Then so something happened which has not happened, perhaps ever. My search expanded to the bakery aisle. The where?! Yes, you read that correctly. There was no sugar cookie mix. Now, that's just mean. And ironic. Perhaps doubly so.

I found some Pepperidge Farm.

I Need ALL Those Shoes (@sue215)

Christmas shopping: I was sloshing around in the freezing rain. A very light, breathable pair of running shoes was all that separated my increasingly soggy socks from an inch of cold, standing water. My thoughts turned to footwear.

A vision formed in my mind of soft, brown leather with seems sealed against the elements: Timberland, perhaps? But wait, that description is very familiar.

Echoes in my memory spoke of just such a shoe, which felt so good when I slipped it on that I returned an hour over highway to purchase them.

I recalled also that I put them away because the cuffs hit my ankle in a weird way that escaped my notice until I had worn them for a few hours. An annoyance that pales in comparison to soggy socks.

Thank you, rain, for adding value to that purchase. Thank you summertime self for having presence of mind and foresight. Thank you job for funding my adventures. Thank you SR, for enduring my antics. Thank you friends, for reading.

Dogbert Cleans Our Office

Comic for December 11, 2010
DILBERT DAILY STRIP | DECEMBER 11, 2010
http://pulsene.ws/uxdl




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Morning in December

The room is dimly lit by the little bit of sun slipping past the mostly-shut, vertical blinds. A tiny sliver of blue sky peeks around the broken slat which has fallen down and rests gently on its neighbor. Comfortable temperatures on my sofa, fresh energy from a good night's sleep, and the bird chirping on the window sill stir in me feelings of a chilly spring morning; the herald of a warm, sunny day.

Alas, I am deceived. Today's high: 23˚. It is currently 14˚.

The 10 Most Popular DYAC’s From November 2010

I just had to share these. Sorry, Mom, the language is bad, but this really happens every time I type on my phone. Thanks to twitter.com/sue215 and twitter.com/dri1humanity0 for sharing the site with me, originally. 

The 10 Most Popular DYAC's From November 2010
DAMN YOU AUTO CORRECT! | DECEMBER 2, 2010
http://pulsene.ws/qvyR


These were the 10 most viewed, most shared, and most popular images sent in to DYAC in November, 2010. Congratulations to the ...

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He Blogs on a Friday Night (@MellanK)

But not just any Friday night: the day after Thanksgiving. I live near a mall. There was no traffic backed up preventing me from entering my apartment complex after work, which was fortunate. Still I don't want to press my luck by venturing out. Perhaps it's a stay in with Pixar DVDs night?

Tonight's topic is a shout out to my Twitter BFF @MellanK. We've discussed her before. Today she helped me with fashion advice. She's always got my back:

Kristen Mellan (@mellank) 11/26/10 12:49 PM
OPI's Lincoln Park After-Dark is def my go-to nail polish. If you like wicked dark purples, check it out!

Bob Thompson (@el_Bobbo) 11/26/10 3:18 PM
@mellank thanks for the tip

Kristen Mellan (@mellank) 11/26/10 3:23 PM
@el_Bobbo knew you were dying to know☺ hope you had a great holiday!!

Bob Thompson (@el_Bobbo) 11/26/10 3:24 PM
@mellank I did! You?

Kristen Mellan (@mellank) 11/26/10 3:34 PM
@el_Bobbo nice relaxing holiday so I can't complain! Hope to see ya soon! We need another tweet-up!

And she's right. We definitely need another tweet up soon, before we're competing with Christmas parties. In the meantime, please, visit @MellanK's Tumblr and sample some of the music that rattles around in her head all day.

Update Sunday

I've been putting off updating my phone, because to do so I need to update my computer, and the two together take three to six hours. Not my idea of a good time. C'est la vie.

Today I decide to do it, mostly because if I'm doing this very important thing, I can continue ignoring the ridiculous pile of laundry in my bed room.

So, I hook up the WiFi (easy). I turn on my... crap, did I leave that in the car? Yes, of course I did. [Sigh] Well, if I'm going out to get it, I might as well take the trash out, and bring in the boxes which have been sitting in my car for two weeks.

[Half hour later] Please, tell me I did not leave it in the car again?! Well, I was going to take a spin around the mall, anyway. I'll just bring it up when I get back.

[Three hours later] Seriously?! Can I have still left it in the... for the love... [grumble]

Finally. Man, I'm hungry now. I guess I'll reheat lunch quick.

[Half hour later] OK, waiting for it to boot up. I'll flip on the XBox and finish that movie I was watching... What do you mean the XBox needs an update? Fine, fine, better get that out of the way so I can do the other thing.

Bah, that's taking a long time. Oh, that reminds me I wanted to figure out how to stream my iTunes to my XBox. I'm pretty sure there's a way. Oh, and there was that blog article I wanted to post. [Two hours later] How long is this going to take? This is not the update I was looking for.

It's still going. I could be gazing mindlessly at a movie right now. Bah.

Fairwell, Pasta Factory

I used to call this my "poverty diet." From now on it will be known as "eating responsibly;" that is, fiscally responsible.

Buying a new car six months ahead of schedule forced me to finance it. The terms of the loan are fantastic, but it's still an unwanted debt. Careful planning will enable me to pay it off quickly. There is no room in "careful planning" for dining out three times daily. Once weekly would be a lot.

Eating at home forced me to review the list of dishes I make well enough to keep me from sneaking to the drive thru afterward. As I pondered the issue, I nibbled on an easy-mac and watched "Hancock." There's a recurring theme in the movie called "spaghetti madness," which is supposed to be something "normal people" do.

I was raised by Italians. I love spaghetti and make it well. I had noodles and sauce in the cupboard, so I drove to my local supermarket for some ground beef, which I balled and browned and simmered in sauce for 15 minutes or so while the water boiled and pasta cooked. I call it spaghetti and meatlumps.

As I enjoyed my home cooked meal, I realized how much it resembled what I order at The Pasta Factory, except that it is much cheaper, tastes better, and I know for certain what the ingredients are. There really is no need to eat at The Pasta Factory, unless I'm away from home. Au revoir, mon cher.

My Phone, the Universe, and Everything

This is a blog about the interconnectedness of all things. Today, I left my phone at home. I was already running late, or I would have returned home to get it. Here's how the day unfolded.

Some background: I had several essential pieces of equipment break on my car the month it needs to be inspected. My options were empty my bank account for repairs and still have an old car, or buy a newer car. I picked up my new car Wednesday night.

When I arrived at work and caught up on messages, I realized that I needed to make an appointment for photos for my new auto insurance. The web site revealed a location very near to my apartment, so I called and set the appointment for 1pm.

Traffic was on my side, so I had time to run in and grab my phone. Uncharacteristically, I parked near the back door, because it's a shorter distance between my car and my apartment. While I was starting my car to leave, I looked up and noticed a maintenance truck approaching my old car, no longer registered or insured, which was parked around back. He was slapping some type of bright orange sticker on it.

Had I not left my phone I would have scheduled my photos for Saturday, and would never have seen the man. My brief and fleeting opportunity to speak to him about how long I have to dispose of the vehicle (and collect my belongings from inside it) would never have occurred. Call it what you want.

Peace

Dear Blogger-spot

I blog from my mobile device. It is evident from your design decisions that you never expected I would. Blogger/Blogspot is difficult to read on mobile devices. Posting and commenting do not work properly. Your talent at all things web are evident. The blogs are beautiful and easy to set up. Posting by email is handy, and is the means I normally use from my mobile, however it is incomplete: meant as a convenience or for use in case of emergency. Thank you for that. What would be a great help to us is a mobile-friendly site. I expect that's a small matter adding mobile templates for us to use and correcting some slight errors in code that have gone unnoticed on your three 24" widescreen monitored development rigs. With your talent, I expect that to be trivial. Alternately, a blogger app that allowed us to post, review and add comments, moderate and edit posts, upload pictures, or anything else we would normally do with the dashboard. That's less trivial, but you could get a student to do it during your Summer of Code, or something. Thank you so much.

Much love,
Bob

Blogging with Style(-us)

One of my obstacles to frequent blogging, aside from having little to say, and as I've mentioned previously, is that I'm rarely in front of a computer outside of my job. I do almost everything I need in a month with my phone. As I've also mentioned, I hate typing on it. I have large hands. My fingers don't fit, and I can't see the magnified letters through the back of my hand.

My sister was in town. Well, not my town. I went to my parents' to visit them all, and noticed my mom had a capacitive stylus she was using to draw on her iPad. Mom is very hip. Anyway, I picked it up and tried it out with my phone.

Much. Better.

Typing wasn't faster, exactly, but was much less frustrating. Sold. I went to Apple and bought one on my way home. I'm still adapting. It's a different feel, and it's a little touchy. I feel like I have to swipe at some things like a check mark. Others I seem to have to poke, like I'm tossing a dart.

So here is the big test. I'm typing a post with it. How did I do? And I also drew this picture.

How Apple Makes Money

Tallahassee Schmallahassee cost me a lot of money. Why? It was the first music I bought on iTunes. Now, buying music on iTunes is a habit to the tune of about $30/month.

Before I rarely ever bought music, because by the time I got to the music store (online or off) I forgot what song I heard as I was walking through the mall that made me think of an artist whose albums I would like to add to my collection. No more.

Now, when I think of an artist I search them in iTunes immediately. Also, if I hear music I love but don't recognize, Shazam will give me a link to the song in iTunes. Pandora is great at suggesting groups I haven't heard of which are similar to groups I love. It will link me to the album in iTunes, too.

I may purchase the album now or in the future, or decide against it, but I know where to find it. I'm getting what music I buy at a discount. I don't have to find time to rip it to my audio device. Expanding my music collection is enriching my enjoyment of many things I do throughout the day.

How does Apple really make their money? They capture all those impulse purchases I used to decline making at the mall. Genius.

What Goes Around Comes Around

This expression has become hackneyed. Often a person who is wronged in some way will quote, "What goes around comes around," or something similar. He may believe he is being positive and taking his lumps in stride by wishing some ill befall his transgressor.

I believe the person in the above example has it backward. When I want good to befall me, I must be good to others first. In order for me to be treated well, I need to enter every interaction with the expectation that I will be treated well. I have to be grateful before I receive good treatment. Then, my expectations will be met. "A self-fulfilling prophecy," to use another abused and little understood expression.

Try it.

Living for the Kids

I'm at The Pasta Factory getting my chicken parm on and blogging like a fiend. As I peer over the top of my laptop screen I see a couple and their two little girls. It is a beautiful family. Both parents are interacting lovingly with their children, but not with each other. It looks as if they are two strangers crammed into the same side of a booth against their will.

It's sad, but this doesn't seem very unusual. In fact, if I was sitting on the other side of the booth and watching the happy girls eat their lunch with an enthusiasm I envy, I would be thinking, "Wow! That's what all family's should be like."

How often do the kids become our lives and we lose interest in our spouses? In ourselves? Far, far too often. So, what's the solution? Ideas?

On Blog Schedules

In short, there is no schedule. Partly because this blog is for me, not you. No offense. Also, because most of my best ideas come to me at inappropriate times: at work, walking through the mall, standing in the shower, etc. Lastly, it might take me two weeks to find free time and a WiFi hot spot in the same place.

The result of this is you, dear reader, may get a blast of blogs once every week or two. Read them slow. Make them last.

Peace ☺

The Cigar Box Guitar Project - Overview, Attempts One and Two

Once there was a man named Bob. After a time of pondering how to regain interest in practicing to improve his virtuosity on guitar, he thought of Flamenco. Henceforth he would be known as el Bobbo.

El Bobbo procured an instrument befitting his budding expertise. What it does not befit, however, is his overhead cabinet above his office desk. Because of this, practice does not occur during what would otherwise be the perfect time to practice (lunch). He pondered this point, as he does.

Of course, a travel sized flamenco guitar would be ideal. El Bobbo surfed the interwebs and found... nothing. There are few classical travel guitars available. What he found was too big, too small (no face plate for tapping), collapsed (a one piece solution would be better), and all were too expensive. Something that lives in the car or the office must be expendable.

In a flash of inspiration, he thought of Bo Diddley. After some research, additional pondering, and an unusually small amount of procrastination, he began his quest to build his own travel guitar.

He had no tools. Google recommended a list of tools, of which he ended up using only a few, and needed still more. This process continues. I think my father would say that never ends.

El Bobbo bought some pine at Home Depot and practiced with his new tools. He was unexpectedly successful and decided to build a whole guitar with what he intended to be scrap. Sadly, he was unable to tune the guitar he built.

He pondered for a little while, staring at the useless guitar each night before bed making mental notes about what he would change in the next attempt. He decided to go for it. He bought poplar for the neck and red oak for the finger board, he selected a pretty, all-wood box for the body, and set to work. So far, so good.

El Bobbo will post further results in a subsequent post.

Ponder friending me on Facebook.
Ponder using Twitter, then follow me.

The Movie Ticket Standard

The Oatmeal - How I Feel About Buying Apps

True story. I love it.

But that’s not how I feel about apps.

I live by my “movie ticket standard.” The cost of a movie, currently $10.25, must entertain me for a  minimum of two hours. Free apps, therefore, have infinite value. The game I spent $10 on and played for about 10 hours was a good value. I have to listen to an album three times to get my money's worth. I have to watch a DVD twice. Etc

What’s harder to judge are productivity and utility apps, but I view those as accessories required for the use of the phone.

I know, I took all the humor out of a really great joke. It’s 9am. Sue me.

The Flamenco Project - Overview

Wow, I started this project last winter, probably at or around my birthday. About that time I was inspired to learn Flamenco guitar. I was bored with what I've been doing: accompanying myself singing pop/rock songs. I was looking for a new sound and a challenge. Well, I found them.

After hitting the internet for some background information and a few tutorials, I took my steel string guitar and gave it an... OW! Have you ever seen one of those cheese slicers that look like a slingshot with a wire strung between the forks? Yeah...

Adding a Flamenco guitar to my collection, I resumed my practice. I hit a wall, almost immediately. I didn't even have the most basic knowledge: how to hold it; the different strokes, strums, finger picking styles, scales, chord forms, etc. I needed help!

Good fortune reminded me of Drome Sound in Schenectady. I ventured thither, and a very knowledgeable man rummaged through three racks of books to grab the lone copy of The Keys to Flamenco Guitar by Dennis Koster. Finally, I had the rudiments at my finger tips. The challenge was to retrain my finger tips to play the guitar, as I call it, inside out and backwards from how I'd learned.

Here it is some eight months later and I have not yet learned my first song, though I am comfortable with the rudiments. I believe I'm learning faster than is typical, but slower than if I had a real teacher. As I progress, I will be posting thoughts and, if you're lucky, maybe some recordings.

Why Do I Still Need a Laptop?

I waltzed into the local Apple store on launch day and purchased the iPhone 4 with the most GBs. I haven't set it down for more than a few minutes since.

It does everything I need to do in a day, sometimes better than my MacBook. I get email, IM, txt, phone, Facebook, and Twitter messages all in one spot, with remarkably consistent user interface. Using Flixster I can browse theaters local to where I'm standing, view the Rotten Tomatoes ratings and IMDB articles related to the movies now showing. Then I can switch to Fandango and buy my tickets while I'm sitting down to dinner. I already have more games (and more favorite games) than I have for either my NDS or XBox. I buy and listen to more music. I read more, because I have several books strapped to my waist at all times, more access to blogs and internet news sources. I take more pictures, and for the first time have considered photo editing to get the most from them. Because Blogger can post from emailed entries, I can blog on the run. When I hear a new song and need to identify the artist, I pull out Shazam and click through to iTunes. When I'm lost (often) I can choose Maps or Waze, a social GPS.

But I still need my MacBook, on days like today, when I have a lot of typing to do, in-depth internet research, need to cross-reference between several applications and/or web sites. To interact with websites which are not mobile friendly, most often to place an order. When I need to maintain/backup my phone, or when I need to print.

This is the first I've used the laptop in weeks. To be fair, some of the things I couldn't do on my phone I did on my work computer in the meantime, but not many.

What kind of phone do you have? Why do you still need a laptop?

The Phrase is "Intents and Purposes"

Several times recently, I've read the phrase, "For all intents and purposes," written, "For all intensive purposes." While this might be a typo—I have a tendency to type "every" instead of "ever" and "boib" instead of "Bob"—it may also be excellent examples of something that bothers and disappoints me.

I'm not a fan of clichés or other catch phrases. People tend to use such phrases without understanding them. When I point that out, the usual response is, "Ugh, you KNOW what I mean!" but, still I feel that we should take the time to know and understand what we're saying/writing. On the other side of the coin, I've also found that people sometimes don't understand me when I avoid using a cliché. It's almost as if they're unable to assemble the words and derive the meaning on their own.

This post has been sitting in my drafts for a while, because I had planned to draw some conclusion or offer some solution. It turns out I have neither.

What do you think about this?

Single Point Urban Interchange

Some things I know, I'd rather not. For instance, I don't need to know what a single point urban interchange (SPUI) is.

Nevertheless, I became aware of this via exit6.org, a website thoughtfully created by the NYS Department of Transportation to explain what in blazes they've been doing to a very busy intersection near my home this year.

Today was the first I drove through the now completed SPUI. Obviously, I was successful, or I'd be unable to blog about it. As I entered the intersection, from northbound I-87 to turn left onto westbound Rte 7, I was initially overcome by curiosity and looked around to see the whole intersection. Panic ensued. If your eyes wander, it is very easy to believe that you are driving straight into oncoming traffic.

I regained my composure, found the lane I belonged in and focused on that. After having done so, I must say that the intersection is much smoother and more efficient than it used to be. I waited for only one stop light, and by knowing ahead of time which was my correct lane, there was no confusion. It was as if I was making an ordinary left-hand turn, except I didn't have to wait for oncoming traffic.

I am pleased. I remain displeased with the myriad rotaries DOT has been building everywhere, but the SPUI is a welcome improvement on a stressful driving experience.

Om-nom-nom-inous

A few weeks ago, I was sitting quietly between meetings at a sales
conference, contemplating my imminent consumption of a cookie, when I
thought to myself, "I'm om-nom-nom-inous!" This promptly became my
Twitter bio, but what does it mean?

For those unaware, "om-nom-nom" is a textual representation of the
sound Cookie Monster makes when he eats. You know Cookie Monster. From
Sesame Street? Oh, never mind.

Definition: One who eats enthusiastically, but without regard for etiquette.
Example: Hey! Remember to breathe! You're om-nom-nom-inous!

Definition: One who eats mass quantities.
Example: Whoa, that Galactus is om-nom-nom-inous (Galactus? Consumer
of worlds? Oh, never mind.)!

Definition: One who loves to taste.
Example: Margaret, your palate is so discerning. You are quite om-nom-nom-inous.

Definition: One who is tasty.
Example: Oh, I could eat you up! You're so om-nom-nom-inous!

Definition: A superlative form of "ominous."
Example: [Bob] I predict your imminent and violent demise. [Mom] Well,
that's om-nom-nom-inous. And creepy. Go to your room.

How would you define om-nom-nom-inous? Hit me back.

How A Bumble Bee Broke My Leg

A group of convention goers exit their tour bus in the hotel parking
lot. Greg shouts after Dharma, "Hey, watch out there's a..."

Dharma, startled, turns to face him, but does not stop walking; now
walking backwards toward the curb. "Sorry, wha-?"

"There's a bumble bee."

"What?! Oh! Where?"

While the two of them flail at the innocent insect, Dharma stumbles
over the curb.

True story.

Except the broken leg part. No one was hurt. That was me joking with
Dharma about the title of her next book.

Man on Fire

One of the side effects of my quarterly sales conference is rushing.
Our schedule is so tight we run between destinations, or as close to
running as security personnel allow. We even "sleep fast," as we call
it.

The bus returned at 2:30a Monday morning. I slept until 10:30a. I
caught up on personal messages, RSS feeds, and tweets. Showered and
dressed. First meal and errands until 2:30p. Work on guitar, shopping,
second meal until 8:30p. Laundry and more guitar until 12a, then
sleep; all rushed. Happy Monday!

At work Tuesday. Three days worth of email stressed me out, so I
rushed through it and cleared it by noon. I also completed my weekly
report and time sheet in that time. I could have nursed either of
those tasks most of the day, but I was still rushing. Upon returning
from my lunch, I had plenty of work, but no desire to do it, and my
alibi was gone.

At least I had started to relax ☺

Pizza Lobster

Fred used to work at Pizza Hut. He now works at Red Lobster. Wilma
tells a Betty a story about how Pebbles now refers to his workplace as
Lobster Hut. Giggling ensues.

Barney interrupts to say, "Or you could call it Pizza Lobster."

At first, we assumed he was making fun. After some back and forth, and
undue amounts of laughter, we determined he wasn't. Asks Barney, "Why
would it be Lobster Hut?"

"Because Lobster Hut has meaning," says I, "and Pizza Lobster does not."

"Sure it does!"

We laugh, then stare blankly. "Please, describe this enigmatic Pizza
Lobster to us, ingredient by ingredient," I command Barney.

After several minutes of painful and rewarding laughter, Betty
observes that Barney seeks a combination that uses first word, "pizza"
or "red," and second word, "hut" or "lobster." Says I, "He applies a
mathematical solution to a word problem."

Barney seeks to fit life into tiny boxes which are drawn for it.
They're so cute when they're young.

Bus trips are fun.

Breaking Point

I'm in a hotel room. I just sat in the desk chair, which tipped
backward unexpectedly. Do you know that feeling? I've been feeling it
a lot, lately.

There are blogs I never published, because they aren't public. This
explains, partly, the gap in my posting. I have things on my mind I
cannot share. Or I can share different things with different people.

When is the last time you felt that way? Have you written long
letters, then burned them, or given them irrelevant file names?

Our feelings are like water. They can drip annoyingly, trickle
pleasingly, refresh, drown, or burst a dam. We can't live without them
(sorry, Spock).

Periodically the water flows to a place it doesn't fit: a flood. Options:
• Staunch the emotion: maybe impossible, but if you could, maybe a
disservice to who or what you're emotional about
• Build a bigger dam: forestalls the inevitable
• Redirect the water: build some reservoirs and irrigation trenches
and use your gift to grow something beautiful
• Do nothing: dam fails, homes and fields flood

With mixed feelings I admit I've had a lot of practice. I'm getting
very good at "life."

Please excuse me. I have ditches to dig.

Are You Sure You Want To Know?

I'm an honest person. The term "brutally honest?" They're talking about me.

This gives rise to my slogan, "Before you ask a question, be sure you
want the answer.

Overall, I'm happy with the result.

Your Will Be Done: @AvaApollo and @el_bobbo

Ava Apollo (@AvaApollo) 9/2/10 12:34 PM hahaha how I sexted a doucher. Amazingness.

Bob Thompson (@el_Bobbo) 9/2/10 12:36 PM ☺ glad you like. How's Thursday treating you?

Ava Apollo (@AvaApollo) 9/2/10 1:05 PM think I have the flu :-/ so I'm tweeting nyquil references and undoubtedly offending former addicts and encouraging current ones

Bob Thompson (@el_Bobbo) 9/2/10 1:07 PM It's a test. The weak will eliminate themselves with Nyquil fueled accidents. You provide a public service. Feel better!

Ava Apollo (@AvaApollo) 9/2/10 1:16 PM omg that's a super interpretation of an otherwise tragic situation. If only these were tweets cause this is a hilarious convo

Sent with Twitter for iPhone

iPhone + BackBeat 903 Weirdness

I think this is the fault of iOS4, honestly. I'm sporting the very stylish and functional Plantronics BackBeat 903 bluetooth headset which pumps bass boosted tunage into my ear canals for almost an entire workday. I usually charge them at lunch time, or give them a rest if the office quiets for a little bit.

Plantronics BackBeat 903, image used without permission. Click here for manufacturer's website.

Notice the combination of ear-canal conforming soft rubber buds and battery-weighted, behind-the-ear hardware that keeps these bad boys fitted to my awkwardly sized/shaped ears.

I'm writing because I have intermittent problems with the headset controlling my iPhone. It has been puzzling and aggravating. When it works, I press the pause button when I need to talk to someone (annoyingly often, but that's another post), which stops the music—and this is neat—activates the microphone, which allows you to hear as if or better than your ears were naked.

That is, it's neat when it works. When it doesn't the music resumes after about three seconds, usually right in the middle of my conversation partner's sentence. As if talking wasn't annoying enough in and of itself.

On the call control side, it just works sometimes and not others. That's something that needs to be reliable if this is to be used for calls. Incidentally, the fit is secure enough to let one bud dangle if you need to use it in the car or any other time you don't want your ears obstructed. What would el Bobbo do?

When this happens, I turn off the headset, open Settings > Bluetooth and turn off bluetooth. Bluetooth fails to turn off at the first attempt and comes right back on after the little "I'm thinking" wheel spins for several minutes. I turn bluetooth off again, which works right away. After waiting a few seconds I turn bluetooth back on, wait for it to start detecting devices, and turn the headphones back on. The headset controls work again after this.

So, don't throw your headset away if this is happening to you. Praise be to Jobs that he deems justly to update the bluetooth software on iOS4 with a fix worthy of his eminence.

Happiness

I can say this because I used to be one. Some people expect happiness
to happen to them. While I understand the feeling, I found out that's
nit how life works.

Let's say you think life owes you corn. Life will give you corn, but
first you have to put corn in the ground. Then, life gives you more
corn than you can use.

Happiness is like that.

So, I have this friend...

My coworker, let's call him Mike. No, not that Mike. I work with about ten Mikes. Everybody knows a Mike.

Right.

So Mike's situation would make an excellent teen novel and subsequent feature film. You see, he's a vampire who is in love with a high school girl named Bella... Wait, that's not right.

Mike likes a girl. We'll call her Michelle. No, not that Michelle. Please, try to focus. The names are made up.

Mike has liked Michelle since she started working in our office several years ago. At first he was shy, because he had no work related reason to approach her. He also has a policy against dating coworkers, which is something I taught him. Do you date coworkers? Do you recommend it?

So little by little Mike and Michelle did get to talk and found they have some common interests, including some things they've done in life and some they'd like to do. One thing they did not have in common; Michelle was in a relationship and Mike was not. But since Mike was still following my "no dating coworkers" advice, that didn't seem like a big deal.

One day, Mike and I go to lunch. While I'm flirting with the waitress (Who's name, coincidentally, was Michelle. She wouldn't give me her number, BTW.) he asks me what to do. He's very attracted to Michelle: increasingly so. He has feelings for her and is jealous of her fiance. What Would el Bobbo Do? I advise him to go find someone else. Move on. She's not available, and he deserves better than to be strung along. What would you have told him?

The first few women Mike met were unfit matches. With some he got deeply involved; these relationships ended in ruin and heart break. Between you, me, and the internet, I think Mike over-committed to those poor women in an effort to level the playing field and make Michelle jealous. I honestly didn't want to get involved enough to find out. Why do you think he had these rollercoaster relationships?

So here we are, almost five years later. Little has changed. Mike is still Michelle's "work boyfriend" (God I hate that). They occasionally go to lunch or take a walk together. It's not just Mike. People in the office notice that her face changes when she sees him. She seems happier when they're together. I've noticed it myself. So, at least Mike's not crazy. Why do you think she's happier when they're together?

Mike finally broke my rule and told her how he feels and that he'd like a relationship with her. Mike's a little passive aggressive, so he probably wrapped his earnest feelings in a joke to leave them both an out if it didn't go the way he'd hoped. Every time he tells her he wants more, he tells me that she just giggles, blushes, and changes the subject. She's never turned him down, just ignored him. Why?

And so it goes. Mike keeps trying to move on (he's a trooper). He dated Ginger for months believing they had nothing in common. I still think he's exaggerating, but according to him, they would go to dinner, a movie, and back to his place—barely speaking—for months before he finally discovered some common interests. That tells me that he would have dumped Ginger if he wasn't primarily focused on Michelle. Do you agree?

What's Michelle's take? I have no idea. She's not my friend. Mike's probably her only friend in the office. From what Mike's told me, and what I've observed of her behavior both with and without Mike, she's not happy where she is, but for whatever reason she's staying, and probably unintentionally, she's using Mike to fill in the gaps in her committed relationship. How close do you think I am?

My advice to Mike is still to move on, but he's so hung up on Michelle that he's having a really hard time of it. I feel bad, brother, but I got nothing else for ya. How would you advise Mike if he was your friend?

On behalf of Mike and myself, thanks in advance for your thoughts and opinions. In the mean time, here's to hoping that Mike finds someone he likes better than Michelle, and soon. Salud!

Genesis

Would you like to know how all this What Would el Bobbo Do stuff started? Of course!

My close, personal friend and I were at a tweet up near my home in Albany, NY. The topic of discussion was work; customer service, overflowing inboxes, and nagging bosses. So my friend says (paraphrased), "I was so happy! One customer I helped sent me a hand-written, thank-you note! Then I got back to my phone and the voicemail light was blinking. Another customer keeps calling and interrupting the work I'm doing for them."

We've all been there. We're on top of and have prioritized our work. Unfortunately, our customers' and bosses each have different priorities: from us and each other.

So what should my friend do? She's very conscientious. She was on top of her work and knew the best way to help the nagging customer was to ignore them for now, then call them back with results. El Bobbo suggested folding the thank you card into a teepee and placing it over the voicemail light. And so it began.

What would YOU do?

What's That on My Shirt?

So I had a lot of obstacles on the way to work this morning. The first was my realization that all my clean clothes were wadded up on the floor in the living room. Ironing?! Ugh!

A bunch of red lights, drivers with opposing objectives, and trafficky street crossings later, I look down and see SPOTS ON MY SHIRT! Where did they come from? This is not cool.

What would el Bobbo do?

I reached into my bag and pulled out my LOC wipes. I took one out, wiped the spots off my shirt, and tossed it away.

If you want to be able to do that, you'll have to click the link.

What would YOU do?

Confidence

I was reading the other day about the difference between confidence and cockiness. I was planning a lengthy comment on the linked blog post, but after thinking about it a while I decided to post a new topic here, because this is a very interesting topic to me.

I can summarize my point very succinctly: when a nice person tries to act cocky it comes across as confidence. What behavior sets the confident person apart? Let's start a list:

• Smiling
• Observant
• Sensitive
• Polite
• Interested
• Sincere
• Complimentary

What would you add? Tell me below, and I'll update the list!

Works Consulted
How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing with People - Les Giblin
Skill with People - Les Giblin
How to Win Friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie
www.doubleyourdating.com

What Would el_Bobbo Do?

My new best friend (well, until she called me old) has a new slogan: What Would el_Bobbo Do? I'm a natural problem solver. She shows great wisdom for one so young.

Kidding aside, I've updated my blog with the phrase, because while this space is still for my random thoughts, my random thoughts tend to center around observing and interacting with people. I love people from afar, and learning to love them up close and personal is a huge life goal of mine.

So, it all seems to fit. What do you think?

Best Twitter Conversation

Darth Vader (@DepressedDarth) 8/16/10 4:19 PM @LordPalpatine That would make the 2nd one Kill Ball. Vol 2.

Emperor Palpatine (@LordPalpatine) 8/16/10 4:13 PM @DepressedDarth I thought it was Kill Ball.

Darth Vader (@DepressedDarth) 8/16/10 4:12 PM Little known fact: Lucas' working name for the Death Star was "Explosion Sphere." He was creative, but it didn't always come naturally.

Avoid Comparing Yourself To Others

I've been saying this a lot recently, to a lot of different people. Here's the thing, no one can be as good a you as you are. You may want to improve, to be the best you you can be. In fact, I encourage you to spend your life learning and improving*.

The pitfall is when you start comparing yourself to others. So-and-so is prettier. So-and-so probably isn't. You're each just pretty in a different way. There is no benefit to this comparison. It will, however, undercut your valuable self-esteem.

Protect and build your self-esteem at all cost.

Love,
Bob

Works Consulted
What To Say When You Talk To Yourself - Shad Helmstetter
How To Have Confidence And Power In Dealing With People - Les Giblin
The Magic Of Thinking Big - David Schwartz

* You will be in five years the product of what you read and with whom you associate. Read biographies of successful people, and books by authors such as Dale Carnegie, Napoleon Hill, Og Mandino, and John Maxwell. Consider joining a trade or professional organization, a public speaking group, etc. That should keep you busy for a while.

How to Get Minions

What follows is my recipe for mind control. Remember, with great power comes great responsibility.

When dealing with the opposite gender, you may use the shortcut method. This entails feigning helplessness and using suggestive body language to imply a reward. After your white knight (non-gender-specific) rids you of the unpleasant task or situation, switch to "just friends" mode. Say, "Oh! You're the best friend ever!", tee-pee hug, and exchange air-kisses. Muah!

Oh, I was asked what a tee-pee hug is. It resembles leaning across a fence. It's the hug you use for elderly relatives and creepy people at church.

Or opposite gender people you've decided you're just going to be friends with.

More generically, the technique starts with complimenting your minion for the desired trait you are about to exploit. "Oh, Harold! Your garden is so beautiful! How do you keep it so?"

He who asks questions controls the conversation. Words create reality.

Next you have to plant the seed of an idea into your minion, which will lead to him/her suggesting he/she fix your problem for you. Observe.

"Say, Harold, maybe you could help me? I can't for the life of me figure out how to get this crab grass out of my lawn. What would you suggest?"

Harold will usually spend the next four hours weeding your lawn and be really, really happy about it.

There's no such thing as a free lunch. Your minions will do what you want because you made them feel better than anyone ever has. You valued their skills and appreciated their help. You asked for their advice instead of bossing them around. You bought more with kindness than their employer ever could with wages.

Works Consulted
How I Raised Myself From Failure To Success In Selling - Frank Bettger
How To Have Confidence And Power In Dealing With People - Les Giblin
How To Win Friends And Influence People - Dale Carnegie
The Tongue: A Creative Force - Charles Capps

Judgemental

We judge others by their actions. We judge ourselves by our intentions.

It's easy to sit behind our steering wheels and keyboards and point
out all the ways in which others are deficient.

"You cut me off, idiot!"

When we bump into that same person on the street we're polite.

"Oh, I'm sorry!"

I think the difference is that the offender gets a chance to explain
and apologize.

I recently had an epiphany. I was in the mall and a woman walked into
me. I was angry. I felt she should know better. I felt she should
think about me. I felt she should be aware of her surroundings.

A few minutes later a little boy bumped into me. I asked if he was ok,
made sure his parents were nearby, smiled and said goodbye. I felt
like I helped someone who clearly didn't know better.

That's when I realized the woman probably doesn't know any better,
either. My world will be a happier place the less I expect others to
be and think and act like me.

Incidentally, you parents frustrated by your kids need to ask why
they're doing the thing and teach them what to do differently. Did you
forget what it is like to be a child? They don't know any better.

Here's the thing. We can't know what another's intentions are unless
we ask him. I recommend doing that.

The one thing I'd most like to change about myself is the way I judge
others based on arbitrary details such as their dress, their grammar,
their neighborhood, the car they drive, etc. Let's leave the judging
to God. We are unqualified.

iPhone 4 "No Service"

I was shopping in Lee, MA yesterday. While I was there, I noticed I had no cell service. It is unusual for me to have no service there, but it is in the middle of the Berkshires, so it's not that alarming. Others were talking on their phones, so I was suspicious.

When I returned to Albany I still had no service. Then I knew something was wrong. I shut off the device, waited a few seconds, then turned it back on. Service was restored.

I've had this happen to me periodically with every phone I've ever owned, so while it doesn't happen frequently, it's not without precedent. Maybe it's happened to you?

My iPhone 4

In short, I love it. I rarely set it down.

Would you like to know what apps I run? Sure.

Mail
I use the native Mail app. I love the unified inbox and the improved method of navigating the folders on each account separately. That was my killer app on the Blackberry. I would like to be able to Mark All Read, please, @Apple. Thanks in advance.

Twitter
I use the official Twitter for iPhone from Twitter.com. I am more aware of what's happening in my community and my state and local governments since joining Twitter. I've also made friends I hope to have a long time all over the country, many local. I can do everything with this client I can do on the website, but the interface is much more Bob friendly. I have stopped using Twitter on the desktop at all. However, Twitter doesn't notify me of new mentions and direct messages.

Boxcar
This provides pop up notifications for new messages for a variety of social networks. I use it for Twitter.

iPod
I bought Bluetooth headphones with a seven hour battery. I rarely take them off. I've stopped playing music on the desktop.

Pandora
Because my appetite for music exceeds my budget for iTunes, I can fall in love with an album prior to spending any money, which makes me a smarter consumer.

Safari, YouTube, and QuickTime
Native interwebz.

Mozilla Firefox Home
Sync Firefox bookmarks to iPhone. I'd prefer if it wrapped Safari, allowing me to use it as a browser replacement, but I'm so happy to have my bookmarks I haven't the heart to complain.

LastPass
Sync with encrypted, online, password database. This is a life saver if your bank requires you to change your password between visits.

Mint.com
I've just started using this. It's like Microsoft Money, but online. I was amazed by how quick and easy it was to set up. It automagically made me a budget, which is like woah! (I know, I'm so eloquent)

Words With Friends (Thanks @AvaApollo!)
Remember those new friends I met with Twitter? I'm getting to know them better by playing long, drawn out games of [not Scrabble]

Messages
I use the native app. I prefer txt over phone calls. I really only want to know what time we're meeting for dinner. I don't care who cut you off on the way home from where or how many lima beans you ate for lunch.
 
Clock
The native app. I use it for my daily alarm. Plural, actually. I've improved my wakability by setting two alarms 30 minutes apart and foregoing the snooze button. Except this morning. I snoozed the second alarm, because it was that kind of morning.

Zarf
The rules to Scrabble changed. I need help learning what is or is not a word. This tool is fantastic! Don't use it to cheat, people. That's not cricket.

Weather
I use the native app to decide when to bring my coat.

Fandango
"Hey, wanna see a movie?"

"What do you think is playing?"

[tap tap tap] "X is playing at 7:20 and 9:30."

"Wanna do 9:30 so we can eat slower?"

"Sure, I'll buy." [tap tap tap]

[Show up at cinema two hours later and swipe check card at kiosk]

[Ride escalator]

[Sit]

OneTap
Because @Fandango doesn't link to @RottenTomatoes (hint hint).

Calendar and Contacts
I sync the native apps to Google via Google Sync by adding my Gmail as an Exchange Account in the Mail, Contacts, and Calendars settings. Google it for instructions.

Notes I'm gradually using the native Notes app to replace pad and paper, as my skill with the soft keyboard improves.

App Store and iTunes
These were actually my primary reason for avoiding Apple products, until I tried them, now it's my preferred way to shop. [tap tap spend]

iBooks
I actually prefer the Stanza e-reader over the iBooks app, but I prefer to buy from iBooks, so there you have it.

MeeboMeebo is my favorite universal IM tool. I use the web page on the desktop. I use the app on the iPhone. It just works. I am not a heavy IMer, as I find it disruptive.

Camera
I find that the pictures are somewhat flat and grainy when light conditions are imperfect. I love the way the zoom and autofocus features work. Pictures in well lit areas are amazing. I was able to capture a rainbow, which is a challenge even with a dedicated point and shoot. I like being able to take self portraits with the front facing camera. I also love being able to use it to spy on college kids at the table behind me. I don't trust them.

ByteRun Solitaire
Every computerized device needs solitaire. I love this version, but it doesn't run well on iOS4. It has customizable desktop and card backs, and undo button, 1 or 3 card draw, with or without scoring. Perfect.

ByteRun MahJong
Because solitaire gets boring sometimes.

CraigsphoneI used this extensively to shop for a car. I decided to fix the one I have because I couldn't find a better deal than what I'm already driving.

KBB.comKelley Blue Book, which I used to decide that I could find no better value than the car I'm already driving.

JotNot Pro (Thanks @Adriane_M!)This is amazing! Use the camera to scan documents to multipage PDFs. It works so good! You can try the free version. I used it to copy receipts on a business trip.

FacebookI don't use Facebook much any more. I have to say that social gaming and Facebook's repeatedly removing the tools I used to filter them from my news feed drove me away. I use the official Facebook client. It's lacking a few features that stop it from completely replacing the web site, but I prefer the way it displays photo albums and I like the pop up notifications of private messages. I use Meebo to chat, instead.


Google Maps
You know, because I'm a navigational genius.

Amway Global
I can use to look up product information or place orders for customers faster than loading the web site. Obviously, I'd like to use this one more (cha-ching).

RedLaser
This is cool! You scan an item on the shelf at the store, and RedLaser searches a bunch of online sources to find the best price. You then know if you're saving $20 on that Rock Band wireless guitar controller, not that I would know, because I certainly don't waste my time playing Rock Band, and if I did, certainly not enough to get angry with the stupid wired controller that it came with and why won't that deploy Overdrive, anyway? Right. [straighten shirt]

Chess With Friends
I only played one game. I won. I ran out of friends.

Battle Bears
Senseless violence with a teddy bear, unicorn, and rainbow theme. Yeah...

Dungeon Hunter
This is a Diablo-like game with faeries. I know, but it's still good. Smooth controls, engaging story, enough character building that there's replayability. Recommended.

Redbox
Much easier to browse than the kiosk at the supermarket, and I can reserve the movie I find until I get there.

PocketGuitar
Not as cool as I'd hoped, because it's hard to work and has a sound quality reminiscent of an 80s Casio keyboard. Still, I have a guitar in my pocket. What you got?

Bump (Thanks @Adriane_M!)
I am super excited about this one, though I haven't got to use it. Two Bump users knock knuckles with their phone hands and the app transfers contact info and selected pictures. That's pretty darn cool! I envision great fun at networking events. Sadly, I don't frequent networking events... YET!


Planet Wave Guitar Tools
Tuner, Chord and Scale references, metronome, and store and teacher look up tools. I haven't got to use it much, yet, but I'm very excited to have it.

Battery Doctor
I haven't noticed any benefit from merely installing it, nor have I had a chance to engage its battery maintenance features. More later.

Shazam/SoundHound
I haven't used these, yet. It's not often I need to identify a song, because I'm a font of useless knowledge (Never gonna give you up...).

MLB At Bat Lite
Way cool for checking baseball scores live during the game.

Phone
Hey, did you know you can make phone calls on this thing? Visual voicemail rocks! I've only made a couple of calls so far. I haven't dropped any.

I tried to list those I use most frequently first. I add and remove apps a few per week looking to refine my utility and work flow. It's a lot of fun. This is the only device I carry all day long, and I've all but abandoned my laptop.

The Secret to Weight Loss

Eat less: exercise more.

I'm an overeater who leads a sedentary lifestyle. However, I had great success dropping from 270lbs to 210lbs in four months about ten years ago using Weight Watchers. I have studied nutrition and fitness during and since. This is what I found.

Depending on the size of our bodies and our activity levels, we burn between 1200 and 3000 calories per day. Thirty to 60 minutes per day of elevated heart rate is moderate. These need not be consecutive.

Wait, what was that last thing?

Exercise More
We benefit as much from 60 one minute workouts as an hour in the gym. Simple things like taking the stairs instead of the elevator, parking farther from the building, and playing in the yard add up. Add activities you enjoy, like: ping pong, shooting hoops, dancing, jogging (some people like it *shrug*), biking, swimming, playing tennis, hiking, skipping up and down the driveway, etc. Drop and give me 20.

Eat Less (Fewer calories, that is)
I firmly recommend against eliminating foods from your diet. Learn how many calories you burn daily (Google is your friend). Twelve hundred calories is more than covered by a single trip to the drive thru. Keep a journal of what and how many calories you eat. Do the math.

One pitfall is what we eat between meals: a spoonful of peanut butter, a handful of chips, a cookie or candy from the jar as we walk by, tasting everything we cook, gnashing on bread while we wait for our dinner, or picking at the fries little Tommy left while we're clearing the table. These add up fast, and we can do without.

Not just what you eat
You'll be surprised how many calories you consume in what you drink. Set a goal to drink at least one glass of clear water per day, and increase until you drink at least 2 liters (1/2 Gal) per day. A gallon is better, if you can do it.

What Now?
Add vegetables (How'd I know you weren't eating vegetables? ;), to each sitting until at least half your plate is full. Your energy will increase. You'll be healthier. I also urge you to consider nutritional supplements, because we simply can't eat enough store bought vegetables to fulfill our requirements.


I can do that for a couple weeks, but I always get off track
Once you know what you're eating, you'll make better choices. So what if you overeat? Just keep going: it doesn't matter. Every day is a good day to start a good habit. You have unlimited do overs. Give yourself a break and a pat on the back. You're doing what everyone knows how to do, but others are unwilling.

Taking Back(ground) What's Ours (Well, Theirs Really)

Dear close, personal friend:

Launch http://www.google.com

At the bottom left of the page click, "Change background image." Pick something and click Select. Admire the image briefly, realize that it's slowing down your searches, then click, "Remove background image."

You're welcome.

Love,
Bob

Necromancy

I'm bringing this blog back from the dead. Herein my thoughts which are longer than 140 characters or too permanent for the time line will be logged. Welcome back.